i am trying to sort my feelings out about my 20th birthday which is quickly approaching i am not sure how i feel, well i guess i do, i feel old. I am scared what the next year will bring for me, preston will get home my sister will have her baby and i will start preparing for a mission. weird weird weird. not being a teenager always seemed so distant to me like i would never get there and when i did i would be ready for it, i am afraid i am not. Although i do feel that i have grown up a ton this last year i am not ready to be twenty years old