bad blogger

I know i am terrible, this week has been a little crazy though. Tim took me up on friday, the drive up was so nice, it was just nice to be alone with him, have him all to myself. We just hung out with Tyleen and Nick, it was so much fun to be with him and some of my friends. Right after Tyleen and Nick went to bed Tim and I were just staying awake talking and staring at each other, and all the sudden the thing i had been wanting to tell him all week long became the hardest words i think i have ever said. I cannot begin to express how difficult it was for me to tell Tim that i Love him, but likewise i can't put into words how happy i was when he said it back. So basically friday was magical Saturday we left pretty early, dropped off all my stuff and then headed to yellowstone, the drive was absolutely gorgeous and the company fantastic as always. In Island Park we stopped off to see the cabin that Tim and his family always go to it was a really neat experience seeing it with him, he told me how it had changed and about some of the things they do while they are there...it was just really nice. In West Yellowstone we went to this amazing breakfast joint called the running bear and stuffed ourselves and then walked around the town it was cool to see all the little shops and everything...Tim took me to this amazing bookstore in which we most certainly made out ahhhh it was possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me, oh goodness. After that we drove into the park we stopped at a few places here and there which beautiful and so cool! I had forgotten a lot about yellowstone and it was really neat to see the geysers and everything. We made it down to old faithful about 1:30 and waited in this absolutely amazing Inn there until the geyser went off....I got to take a nap for a little which was nice, i don't know which was nicer sleeping or sleeping with Tim there watching me. After we watched Old faithful we got amazing huckleberry ice cream which basically blew my mind, and then we continued making the loop from there...we stopped at the lakeshore geysers which i think were my favorite, they had the most green in them :)

we also got to go to the big waterfall up at the "grand canyon of yellowstone" it was pretty awesome. We stopped in canyon for dinner and both ended up crying before getting out of the car, i feel like this was the worst and best part of the trip all i could think about was him leaving and it just being terrible. It was so very very difficult to see him upset especially when i knew that it was my fault he felt the way he did. At the same time i felt so much love for him, so happy that i could spend this time with him so blessed to be able to be with such an amazing person

Dinner was amazing we went to this burger joint there and saw the cutest little kid ever. The drive home was very quiet we stopped at another falls and Tim wasn't saying much it was really hard to keep my composure, I was trying to be upbeat but it just wasn't working. The whole day i had been going back and forth in my head whether to tell him I didn't want to break up with him...the previous week i had felt like i had gotten my answer, and that i did need to just end things but, i kept coming back to it...my mind never settled on it and so finally saturday morning on the way there i decided to pray about things one more time this time deciding that i would stay with him. As soon as i told him i felt peaceful and good, i haven't doubted my decision once since i told him in fact i have barely thought about whether it was the right choice at all...mostly i have just been sad about making him sad, i have been upset that i have made things more difficult for him. some strange things have happened concerning all of this that i don't really feel like putting on this blog but I have only felt more peace and comfort about the situation as the week has progressed.

The moment he left saturday night i began to ache for him and it hasn't stopped yet. He is all i think about and pretty much all i Want to think about. Sunday night he sent me the most tender,romantic, amazing e mail i have ever gotten it was exactly what i needed to hear from him.

we have talked every night this week and although it hasn't been very satisfying it has still been wonderful I love Tim and i am glad he knows it and i ma glad everyone else does too.

I suppose i will post pictures when i get them!