Petty

petty, trivial, insignificant, not worth my time or tears all of this describes my evening, not even my evening just like maybe 5 minutes of my evening so i studied all evening until around 11 adam phoned and said he would like to go ona walk with me and alli. ok first i have to clarify some things so this morning i told amanda that alli had a ttempted to kiss jacob last night and i asked her to stop calling alli a lip slut etc. and she agreed i guess amanda asked alli if it was true (not saying who told her about it) and alli guessed it was me so alli approached me this afternoon and said that amanda had asked her about it and called her a whor or something like that. so i was peeved because i had asked amanda to stop calling her that sort of thing and i thought i had told her that information in confidence. ok back to tonight, so jacob comes barging in right before we were leaving and we all go out in the courtyard and i went over to talk to adam and alli was talking to jacob and i could hear her asking him why he told me that and i went over to jacob and he wouldn't look at me and i was like jacob look at me look at me and finally he looked at me and i could tell how dissapointed he was in me and it hurt so badly and i asked him if he still wante dto go to devotional with me tomorrow and he said yes so that was a good sign i guess so i just toldadam and alli i didn't want to go on a walk anymore came home cried in my bed took a bath and a sleepping pill that is obviously not working and waited for amanda when she got home i asked her exactky what she said to alli and she said that she asked her if she had tried to kiss jacob etc. i also asked if she had called her any names or anything like that and amanda swore to me that she hadn't alli's manipulative side is becoming more and more evident to me. i decided i need to either leave this school or move out of this dorm next semester i can't do this anymore. the thing is is that it is all so trivial this is like high school it truly is i shouldn't care so much about all this shit but i do i care about jacob's and mine friendship i care about alli even the she hurts myfeelings and manipulates me i still care i wish i could get rid of it i want to be able to be totally and completely apathetic.