Monday, November 07, 2005

Whitters

This blog is dedicated to my best friend Whitney. if i was a lesbian i would marry her hands down. she knows me better than any one else the only exceptions being my Sister and my Mother. last night adam let me use his phone to call her because mine is not working (dropped and sat in a bucket of water for who knows how long) i heard her voice then started to cry. i am nnot sure what it is maybe the fact that she pulled me out of a place i hated being in during the spring or maybe it is becasue we really are that similar regaurdless i love her and i cannot beigin to say how grateful i am for her friendship and love. i can only recall one time when i was angry with her and the oonly reason i was was because i was jealous of how much time she was spending with another girl. sounds ridiculous. i cannot wait to go home so i can have a close friend again one that i know i can trust one that i know wont hurt me.


i spoke with my older brother this evening he is stdying for the LSAT right now he is trying to get in to berkley anyhow he told me we both need to buckle down for the next three weeks and just work our butts off it got me thinking about how much oppurtuniy i have here and i wish i would have realized it sooner i could do anything i want with my life i could go anywhere i wanted to with my education and i am literally throwing it away why becasue i am lazy plain and simple i am lazy it bothers me so bad i hate myself becasue of it the worst partabout it is that i can do something about it but i never do becasue i am just so FLING FLANGING LAZY gosh i despise myself sometimes i am determined to do well on my tests this week if i don't get b's on both of them i am not leaving my room except for food and classes for the next three weeks i am just going to study all the time until i go crazy. what the heck am i going to do with my life next year?

3 comments:

Jannine said...

Wow your being pretty tough on yourself...so you let of some steam and had some fun. If you go back and read your posts and compare them to when you weren't going out and spending time on your own you will see how much happier you have been. The key is to find a happy medium. Perhaps you should be studying some nights and then rewarding your self with some play time for all the hard work you have put in. Quit beating yourself up and put that energy into studying and having fun. *Big Hugs*
Love
Jannine

Dear Lovey Heart said...

thanks you alwyas make me feel better you are super neat!

Jannine said...

Awwww, you gave me the warm fuzzies ha ha ha ha. I know how your feeling, we are much the same way WORRY WORTS! The hardest thing for me was learning to just take life as it comes and just relax rather than beating myself up about things I have or haven't done. I like being a part of your life too - Thank you!