a lot on my mind

last night --- moment of weakness it was a crappy day i was tired and needed to be emo about something

but it was a lot of fun i made a cds for cory and jared so cory came and picked me up and we drove around and listened to his cd only to find out he didn't like any of it so that was stinky after that he forced me to go to his house and watch fireworks and eat ice cream with his family which wasn't half as awkward as i thought it would be, his grandma was there and so i talked with her and that was nice. his family is nice too made me feel very welcome and what not. Conveniently cory has a spectacular view of the valley from his home so we got to see the fireworks from all over it was pimp.


Death has always seemed such a distant thing to me sure everyone dies but my parents are only in there fifties i assume my siblings and friends won't be dying soon. All the sudden death is bearing down on me, the people at my work are so close it is hard for me to know how to act what to say and how to deal with it. nellie thinks she is going to die. She thought she was going to last night, today she was in a wheel chair unable to walk i don't know what i will do if she dies i care about her so much