The Big 19

today (or i suppose yesterday now) was my 19th birthday how odd it is to write that. I had a wonderful day full of presents that actually had thought put into them every gift i reciebed today has sentimental value of some sort tied to it not only because of the person who gave it to me but because of the situations and experiences up here that have made these things so special. so here i go a list of gifts cause it makes me happy:

mom and the fam- From my dearest family i got Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, three pairs of socks, a gift certificate to old navy, and a phone call from a different sibling every hour from 7:00am until 10:00pm
David- A phone call from taiwan and a wonderful letter that made me grin
Matt Erdman- a plastic elk and one of those velvet coloring things, the elk i must explain--a couple of weeks ago we were talking about utah and i don't remmeber what context it was in but i shouted "i'm gonna go get me an elk in utah" so that is the significance of the elk
Tricia and Megan- made me a pillow a crazy soft pillow, about a week ago i was feeling this scarf of one of their roommates and said i just wanted it to be a pillow so i could cuddle with it so they found material similar to it and made me a pillow also the sang happy birthday to me in the galley of death and bout me a cake
Kilean and Christine- constructed a life sized sheep out of notebook paper, me and kilean have american heritage together and i always draw sheep in her notebook etc. it was wonderful and cute and i love it.
Griff and Alli- gave me a ninja turtles coloring book and some crayons
cass-a-frass- got me some chocolate chip pumpkin bread from great harvest
karilyn- some newe york peppermint patties
tiff- made me a cake

today was a wonderful day one of the best birthdays i have had but i just feel odd i just want my family i just want whitney and david is that bad? i love everyone here and i am so very grateful for all they did for me today but i just want my family i just miss them and i hate getting older i just hate it i have a hard time dealing with change and that is why i think college will always be a little tough for me beacuse i will have to keep adjusting and keep saying goodbye to people being in one place but wanting to be in the other and vice versa i hate missing people i just wish things wouldn't change and everyone i have gotten close to up here could move back to sandy with me or take everyone of significance there up to idaho this has been knawing at me after two more months i will probably never see Jacob or Matt or Griff ever again it just gets me

i am making this collection of poems for english and i have really gotten into it far more than i probably should have but it has turned into a scrap book sort of thing everytime a finish a page i get a little sad the last page i finished i cut up a bunch of envelopes i have gotten from whitney and david and preston and megan and cut out my name in their handwriting and just glued it right on there it just made me sad it all just makes me sad.

one thing tricia had me do is say 19 life lessons i have learned it was good i feel like i have grown a lot even in the past year maybe especailly in the past year i feel like i have so much to think about right now i don't want to waste time with sleep i feel so emotional i just want to call my mom and bawl to her

today has been so good and i am glad that i havefound such wonderul people up here that care about me enough to have made this day special.