I did it

Sometimes i feel so naive because it is still a big thing when someone holds my hand or cuddles with me people talk about kissing like it isn't a big deal maybe i am just that unexperienced but kissing someone is bigto me. last night me and cory cuddled i shouldn't have I don't have feelings for him i don't even find him attractive i have been tryng to decide why i let it hapen and why i encouraged it slightly and i determined it was probably because of charles. he was there we were at his house in fact watching season 2 of scrubs we all cameinand sat on the couch in his basement where he casually mentioned "I've had sex on that couch" The boys continued to play pool and i continued to pretend that i didn't care. So after they got food we decied to watch scrubs sam and edwin left and it was just me charles and cory. All night cory had been kind of touchy so i shouldn't have been as suprised as i was when he put his arm around me and what not. I just feel bad becasue i talked to charles today and he said he thought cory had a crush on me the poor kid just barely broke up with his girlfriend too i feel like i took advantage of him. atleast he didn;t try to kiss me thank heavens diana pulled up right when we did. blegh i am such an idiot.

I hung out with my friend owen from high school today it was fun we went to flight plan it was an awful movie but was improved by his clever comments. my nails are really long. i wish i could attract a nice mormon boy who i actually find attractive and that i actually want to be with.

i can't believe some of the things that charles has done to me that i wont detail i just thought he respected me a little more than he actually does oki am off to eat dinner