oh gosh

just returned from eating dinner where i saw chris from new jersey who probbaly thinks i am stalking him by now so i saw him come in and i honestly just about threw up and he was getting salad while i was and i just wanted to die i got so flustered and i am pretty sure i was blushing the whole time. grr why is it that when i find someone i am actually attracted to up here i get paralyzed with fear it is so frustrating i wish i could just be normal and approach someone and atleast be there friend if nothing else stupid stupid anyhow.

Taylor came over here this afternoon and i helped him with some grammar homework and stole his music. I don't know howi feel about him i feel like he will expose me to things that i don't want to be exposed to maybe i just need to make it clear to him what my standards are (ps WHAT THE CRAP!!!!???? i shouldn't have to be doing that in byu idaho should i?) he just makes me nervous idon't know bleh.

theater was awesome today we talked about plays and went over some articles we read last night some very interesting things were said we talked about an article by brigham young which discussed theater one thing that i really enjoyed that was said was that we need to be exposed to both good and evil so that we can act instead of being acted upon i really like that it makes me feel like i have a lot of control over everything. alright maybe i will do some homework or maybe i will take a break and read lucifers hammer it is getting really intense


"I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning in an open tab when your judgement's on the brink.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep... "

"I want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the mouth.
We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene, start a brand new colony,
Where everything will change. We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)"
-Postal Service