what a night

so around 10:30 Jacob showed up looking for me (I think he is realizing we only have a week left) so we were in Tricia's apartment and i said he yso you want to make an audio blog with me and he was like sure so we did it (it turns out it didn't work for one reason or another) and so i like an idiot said do you want to listen to it. remember he is sitting next to me on the couch so i pull up my blog and right as i do so i remember my post from last night so i like a bigger idiot freak out a little and close the window and everything so jacob gets curious and asks whats going on and i said i was angry with you yesterday and i wrote about it. So we are sitting in the living room with tricia and jane and jacob wants to hash it all out right then and there so i skirt around it a bit and we decide to leave so we go outside and run into monica who was going to the library and decide to walk with her so we get to the library blah blah blah and it starts to close and jacob says we should see if we can hide here and stay so i am like ok so we go into a quite study room the lights are off and we hide under desks and he starts asking me more questions about why i was upset so i explained to him how i felt like devotional was our thing and it hurt my feelings when he went off with other people during it and how it hurt that the last devotional we went to he didn't walk me to class because he needed to "mack on some babes" and I could tell that he was really sorry he apologized a ton and said he forgot it was the last time and all that he is so sweet he said "i am coming to your house tomorrow and i am walking you to math" ridiculous boy. I told him all the stuff that i have wante dto tell him that i do need him more than he needs me and that i find him attractive, that i feel so shabby compared to his other girls (he really didn't get that) but it was good so good just to be forthright with him. as he walked me back to my dorm he asked if i would write to him on his mission and i said of course. he held me so close tonight as he hugged me good bye and wouldn't let me go for a while and all this is how i know that Jacob cares about me.


as i walked through the gate i heard him sing "Back pocket tape recorder!' and as i walked up the steps i started to cry i am going to miss that boy so very much he is so very important to me.