Boxed Milk

I am craving milk in a box. It is horizon brand chocolate to be precise ahhh i would give my left foot for some of that milk right now. Today was weird kind of good kind of bad. after volleyball i was euphoric i made a new friend named billy he asked me if i played in high school it is always fun to see the reaction on people's faces when i tell them no. i am getting back into the rythm of the game i love it. There is nothing more satisfying than smacking a ball in someone's face. AHHH. anyhow i have begun to forma pattern when i get on my computer first i look at myspace and get depressed looking at charles' and that girl's comments to eachother then i move to Don't Panic some kid's blog that i have book marked then afraid of people then to lunchtime review after that i check facebook and then my hotmail account i save checking my blog for last because that is what makes me happiest. For some reason this afternoon it just didn't cut it and i got a bit sad but nothing that a little alanis morrisette couldn't fit this is my theme song right now:

I want you to know, that I am happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

1-'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you
To be open wide, No
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You'd hold me until you died
Till you died, but you're still alive

2-And I'm here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face
How quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
(rpt 1,2)

Ohh... aah... ahh... ahh...

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed
That was me and I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails
Down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Well, can you feel it?

nice and angry isn't it? hahahhahaha. yeah so as my sister suggested i took a look at this kid's live journal and i can honestly say that i would like to be his friend. I thought ok this will be good i can make a friend who seems inteligent enough and is having some problems of his own but here is my conundrum how do i contact this boy without him thinking i am a stalker or something crazy like that? Now with my luck my sister has also given him the web address to this blog and he will be reading this sometime in the near future AWKWARD anyhow i was going to add him on facebook but i am scared may be i will just do it. it is silly that i can't even deal with rejection over the internet right now depressing, i am sure it will pass with time i just feel like even if i put myself out there to be someone's friend the chance of getting shot down and or hurt are just too great. So there are my insecurities of the moment i hope everyone is having a good night ph and here is a pic of me jordan and nick last night nick is the one in the orange polo and jordan is sitting next to me.