Fleetwood Macmurder

i always feel a sense of betrayal when people move or delete their blogs, it makes me sad.


so we leave for seattle tomorrow at 5:15 AM wow! me thinks that is to early to function properly, although i did get up that early this morning to take liz and joe to the airport for the same purpose. mmm seattle, mmmm alaska.

i am all packed, my room is clean my laundry is done and put away, and now i am just waiting.



Today mom and I planted the garden and then she "showed me how" to patch my pants but really just did it for me. I am scared to be a mom, i am bad at patching things i don't know when to plant things in little hills and when to just leave them. how frightening i am not going to think about it anymore.


last night was full of hilarity and fictional words, i was very hyper to say the least.

i have so many books to read! I am excited.

ok i am out

Flipe inspired blog

So my last day of work is tomorrow, i am actually sort of sad to see it end so here are a list of the things that i will and will not miss about Investools:

Things I won't miss:
1. having to wait to transfer a call to customer service and then customer service being jerky about it
2. crazy old men
3. That guy calling me sweetie
4. awkward banter with sales people when i pick up orders
5. scary office managers that try to talk to me but make me wnat to hide under large pieces of furniture

Things I will miss:
1. Allissa
2. Sara
2. the guy who calls me sweetie's butt (i am sorry to those members of my family who read this and are awkwarded out but hey it is pretty cute)
3. free lunch twice a week
4. 10$ a hour
5. taking the elevator 5 times a day


so there ya go.

this week is going to rock i am pretty sure. Tomorrow is my last day at work tuesday i am planting the garden/going to andrew's graduation/ watching the two towers with jamie+family wednesday i will probably go help mom at the library and maybe start packing Thursday i will most definitely be packing and friday we will finally be in seattle!!!!!! I am so excited to go on this cruise and see cass and tyleen and eat sushi and read and look at the beautiful alaskan-ness of it all ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

this weekend was pretty fun except last night but mreh... on friday whit had her birthday party and that was pretty awesome it was a lot of fun and we got jamie to come out for it and that was nice. I ended up going home at like 11:30 and talking to matt for a good while then jamie called me and told me he didn't want to go to sleep/be alone so he came and picked me up and we basically drove around/parked and talked till 2:30 it was good, we played the secrets game which was probably not the greatest plan that late at night but mreh. on saturday i went into work and helped allissa out with payroll things and that was fun, i left at noon and mom and i went shopping and i bought the most clothes i ever have in one day it rocked basically. i got a lot of cute new clothes that i am very pleased with. then i went to the gym for the first time in like three months and that went pretty well. I want to get in ridiculously good shape by the time i go back up to rexburg and i think this will be easy because it was pretty darn empty when i went on saturday and the facility is pretty well equipped. After that we all went to dinner as a family and celebrated andrew's garduation/liz's birthday it was so much fun to be with everyone and i got to eat steak.

saturday night i just hung out at home and did some research on graduate school, it turns out that the university i was thinking of going to costs 43,000 dollars for a masters degree in library science. I do not have 43,000$ nor will i in the near future, thus my dream has been smooshed for the time being


anyhow i made like 6 dozen cookies today it was awesome. now i need to write some thank you notes

and here is a picture of me because frankly i am awesome

Awkward

so basically i am here to tell you that i hate being in elevators with people. it is so awkward, you just stand there staring at the door with some random stranger...i have decided something needs to be done. I thought maybe i could try and talk to people but then they would think i was hitting on them or something so i decided that from now on when i enter an elevator i am going to pretend to talk on my cell phone to some one about some obscure topic so people who ride with me will be like what the crap, who is this girl. basically it is going to be awesome.

also i hate talking to the sales people, they try and joke around with me and stuff and generally i am all for that, i consider myself a fairly amiable person, but it just flusters me and makes me blush it is ridiculous and i don't know what to do to make it better and less nerve racking for myself. kind of silly. i just need to get over my shyness i guess.

alright i am done

by far the longest blogging hiatus

i don't know what has gotten into me...but i just don't feel like writing as of late.

work is going well, i have a little more responsibility so that has been nice, this month has gone by quick for me, before i know it i will be on my way to alaska!

last night was....interesting, for some reason i thought it would be a great plan to mesh my groups of friends so last night hans and whitney, jamie and jared, and celeste and megan all came over. It was just weird for one thing it is odd to have people i met in idaho not in idaho but at my house WEIRD! anyhow also i just felt pretty awkward about the whole thing, everyone else was fine, everyone got a long well but i just didn't know where to fit, i didn't know who to go and talk to it was just strange. Anyhow, we watched arrested development played uno and then went to the park to throw the frisbee around once that got interrupted by the coppers we went and just hung out on my driveway. everyone slowly went home and celeste and i ended up going to get slurpees at about 12:30. once i got in i tried calling jamie because i knew he would still be awake and i was a little wired. He didn't answer so i got online and started watching some prison break (woohoo!) and matt called and told me how they went shooting in the dark last night and almost got arrested (ridiculous). Jamie finally called me back and came and got me and he and jared and i just sat at his house playing truth or dare but mainly just talking about religion which was interesting.

weird thing about jamie, i am not attracted to him.

i mean he is a cute enough guy but i just don;t feel that way towards him and it is weird, i don't think i have ever made this much effort to get to know a guy who i wasn't romantically interested in. Maybe he exception is david but even then it started out with me having a crush on him.

today has been good i have just been reading i finally finished east of eden and started two more books Bermudez triangle by maureen johnson and in the lake of the woods by tim o'brien i finished the first this morning and only have a little bit left of the second. The next books on my list are the lord of the rings i know that is heinous that i have never read them but mreh. I am hoping to finish the first one before i go on the cruise and whilst on the cruise i will read the fountainhead.

i just realized how nerdified i am mreh
i am off to barnes and noble with jamie

i was going to write about my weekend but i am going to go read East of Eden instead

ah the weekend

work is going well, i am enjoying it for the most part.

this weekend has been good thus far, yesterday after i got home from work andrew and i just chilled while mom and james and karen went to joe's graduation andrew went off to his study group and i was left alone, it was very pleasant i read my book and took a fatty nap. at around nine we all convened for dinner at chili's it was so much fun! there were 15 of us all together so it was a little crazy but still awesome. before we went into the restaurant i kind of had an anxiety attack think going on so andrew and i just chilled in the car and listened to some calming music and he chanted calm blue ocean at me, surprisingly it helped, he is a good kid. we didn't get done with dinner till like 11 and then dad and mom and susie and i watched arrested development which was awesome.

i also talked to matt last night and tyleen as well. she and cass are finally in alaska and it sounds like they are doing well. matt is doing good to he sounds like he is busy, he is working two jobs and going to school full time that crazy kid!!

alright well i am going to get to lazing about happy weekend everyone

employment

so i applied at a temp agency and they placed me at this ridiculous place that sells investment workshops and all i do is answer the phone and say "this is catherine with --- how can i direct your call?" it is very simple and extremely well paid at ten dollars a hour, luckily i will only be there for a month. Today was my first day and it was good enough everyone seems really nice, the majority of the sales people are men, you know the sort with the gelled hair and the almost permanent wink on their faces. Like i said they are all nice if not more than a little patronizing.

sadly enough i still don't have a lot to say, i read parts of The Messenger by Markus Zusak who also wrote The Book Thief which is one of the best books i have ever read. I also wrote david a letter and spent my lunch hour in the library just like in high school... sigh

now i am off to Home Depot with jamie whitney and elise it shall be grand

Toned down

i am not one for inflammatory posts, or speaking, or actions for that matter.. i am a very un-inflammatory person actually, but as i watched the PBS sponsored program called The Mormons i began to feel like an inflammatory post was in order. I have come to my senses, and i all i have to say is that Mormons are NOT polygamists, i have one mom, my mom has one mom , my dad has one mom, their parents had one mom, oh yes and also their parents had one mom. get the idea? We are not affiliated with Warren Jeffs he is a dirty old man. It makes me so irritated!!

My religion is something that is very important to me, it is frustrating to me when people put it in such a bad light, i wish that i could show all of you the strength and the support that the people of my congregation give to me, we care about each other we care about other people. The peace that i have found by being a member of this church is incomparable to anything i have experienced. I am sorry if this is awkward for any of you but i can't tell you how important it is to me. If any one who happens upon this blog has any questions let me know or you can find answers at the website for the church

arrrrr matey

I am sorry if that title was misleading.

so i think i am sick ish, originally i thought it was allergies but usually those aren't accompanied with excessive tiredness and an "i have been hit by a train" sort of feeling.

bleh


Yesterday was nice i went and helped my mom in her library again, it was very enjoyable, i just wish i could do that for my job but mom says no. Last night i hung out with whit jamie and elise ( ps hi elise if you ever look at this!) we had a good time just kind of hanging out, both jamie and whit had busy weeks so they were a wee bit tired--understandably so, so we ended at like 11 and i went and hung out with brik and anne it was pleasant.

my night ended with a phone call from matt--it was good to hear from him--and finally meeting andrew's lady friend.

This morning i baby sat the next door neighbors son, we played on the swing set read some dinosaur books and played with action figures WOOHOO!! alright i am bouncing

mrehmreh

I am sorry i suck at blogging when i have nothing to blog about.

This week has been good thus far, on monday i got to meet whitney's new special friend Hans, he seems like a pretty cool guy on tuesday night i went to James' and Karen's and had dinner and watched Star Trek the next Generation like the massive nerd i am. That night i was talking to whit on the internet and she wanted to hang out so she drove down here at like 1 and whit elise and I all went to denny's, while we were there an attractive young man caught our eye and so on our way out we left him a little note reading: What are the windows of the star ship enterprise made of? if you know the answer give me a call. and then left elise's number and my name. I thought it was pretty funny personally. So his friend starts texting us and it was ridiculous.

Yesterday was very pleasant, i dug up my garden and then planted some seeds, it was good to be outside. Last night we all went bowling with Hans and that was quite enjoyable he is pretty funny.

Maybe i should look for a job today i am such a slacker.

this has just been a bad week for my self esteem

I keep trying to just get past this crap but it is hard when whitney has three or more guys throwing themselves at her at a time and i am just here alone with my sucky grades and my complete lack of motivation.

Beautiful

yesterday was a pretty good day, i always start getting depressed towards night time i don't know why. But it was good nonetheless I finished reading Twilight and just chilled as per usual. Last night matt called around 11 and we chatted for a good bit I have started reading The Catcher in the Rye to him over the phone. Last night was the first night and it was a lot of fun. It is fun to hear what he laughs at and what he has to say about things. After i read to him we talked some more it was very pleasant matt has been helping me feel better about my stupid non existent life.

Today has been pleasant as well this morning i ran some errands for my dear mother and sent off Cassidy's package and have been trying to fill out this application but was distracted by the INTERNET I should probably go pick up my new glasses here is a second mreh. matt said he would call again tonight so that will be nice, I am thinking about going up to rexburg next weekend i hope it works out, it would be good to see everyone.


here are some picture from the hike Whit Jamie and I took

Funniest thing ever

deedle dee

today was pretty good i have been doing an absurd amount of reading as of late, yesterday i read Farewell to Arms and today i read Brave New World and started Twilight, which i don't know how i feel about. Anyhow, today i cleaned the house really well and read my book--talked briefly to matt this afternoon picked mom up etc. It was kind of a lonely day i am starting to really miss my apartment and everyone always being over etc. tonight matt called again and we talked for about an hour it was really nice he makes me laugh. I also talked to Jordan this evening and that was good as well. They want me to come up this weekend but since i haven't found a job yet i doubt my parents would approve not to mention i think whit would freak out since i told her i couldn't go to a show with her this week because i am not currently employed mreh mreh mreh

i hope tomorrow is just as good as today was

Neglectified

i don't even have the excuse that i have been busy, maybe that is my problem i feel kind of gross from lack of busy.

nothing horribly eventful has happened in the last five days lets see on saturday jamie, whitney and i went on a hike it was wonderful and then saturday night jamie and i went to barnes and noble and talked about books for a very long and wonderful time. i love having someone to talk to about that, matt tries but jamie is a little more read than matt is mmm matt. speaking of which i talked to him saturday and last night very briefly but it was still nice to hear from him. yesterday he called "just to talk" which i can't begin to express how happy that made me.

On saturday jamsie and his wife got back from their trip to taiwan so yesterday they came over for dinner and showed us pictures etc. it was cool.

maybe i should do something so i don't completely waste this day blehh i need a job

I think the worst thing about being at home is that there is no one here to stay up late with me. I just talked to cass, she was with Matt and Daniel and i just miss them all so much. I got to talk to matt and daniel as well and they sound like they are having fun.

Last night I talked to Matt for a good hour and a half it was so nice to talk to him he just makes me so happy! Diana is convinced that he likes me but i still don't know not to mention it is pointless to know anyway arg january is so far away..... i am lame i know

yesterday was pretty fun i just chilled and read my book then took diana home, after that i went to this lecture/ movie thing on Soviet labor camps at whitney's college it was very interesting. after that whit jamie elise and i all hung out played truth or dare etc.
today was just plain boring, i got my hair cut and read and watched a movie this evening with whit jamie and elise and that is about it. Tomorrow will be worse because mom is going back to work so i really will be alone, my plan is to go to the temple and hopefully that will be good, it usually is.
alright maybe i will try to sleep

Home again

it has been a busy last couple of days!

friday dad came and picked me up, we loaded everything into the car with the help of matt, landin, and cass. and then we were on our way. I was excited to drive home with my dad because i wanted to start working on his personal history with him, so we did that and it was a lot of fun. i am glad my friends could meet him, we sat and chilled for a while with all of them and he was being funny it made me happy. When i got home we put all my crap in my room and then Briki and Anne came over and we went to Dream Girls, it was good-ish- i will be honest i probably won't watch it again. Then i came home talked to cass and Matt and just hung out with andrew for a while sometimes i forget how funny that boy is. On saturday i unpacked for an earthly amount of time and went to lunch with anne and Briki. After that i just chilled with diana and andrew it was very pleasant. Saturday night whit and i went to the library and i got A Farewell to Arms and a bunch of short stories by Ray Bradbury i am excited to read them. After that we called up elise and Jamie, it was good to see Jamie he has changed a lot. It is weird how much fun he is! We hung out with Whit's friend Randy, he seemed like a pretty nice guy and we ended up going up the canyon for a bonfire(which ended up being just a regular fire--how disappointing!) it was fun though we played truth or dare etc. On sunday i got up went to church, which was wonderful i just love my home ward, and then came home and napped and read and just hung out. Joe and Liz came over for dinner and that was a lot of fun Liz is getting big!! diana keeps calling that poor baby peter pan. I can't wait to be an Aunt!!! after Liz and joe left i went on a little drive it was pleasant to just be by myself for a while. When i got home diana andrew and I went through a big box of pictures that diana has it was a lot of fun, i just love hanging out with my siblings so we did that and just talked and had a good time. i went to sleep at like 11:30 and got up at about 8:30 this morning it was absolutely fantastic.
i think i have figured out what i am going to do for a job i found some opportunities on the church website so hopefully that will work out.

this morning i got an e mail from matt he seems like he is doing well, i miss him and everyone else a lot i have a feeling this is going to be a long summer. alright i am out!

Can anyone say one more day?

WOOHOOO!!!!!

here we are

last week in rexburg.

To Do:
1 study group
5 tests
1 paper
one million hours of cleaning
4 hour car ride


I am pretty sure i am ready to come home now, i wasn't but i am now.

a wonderful last weekend in rexburg

this weekend has been wonderful and full of procrastination!

on friday i went to lunch with daniel and megan and then went to tyleen's to just chill after staying there for a while we decided to go "four bying" which is washington slang for off roading in a car, so we headed out to the sand dunes attached a rope to cass' car and dan got on his snow board and got pulled behind it was pretty awesome i must admit. After that we got some food and then watched batman begins which was pretty awesome. Today we watched General Conference it was nice after that cass, matt, and I went to Idaho Falls to find tyleen a birthday present (i got her a walk in the woods by bill bryson) we then came home and i worked on my research paper a bit and just chilled with cass. this evening matt came over at about 8 and we just sat and talked while cass slept for a while then we went to dinner and for the first time in my life i ordered a steak, it was quite a momentous occasion let me tell you. This weekend has been so much fun i just want to play always!!! and never go home!

ok i do want to go home and playing would get boring but still.....

yarg

this is driving me insane.

would he call me this much if he wasn't interested in me?

i just don't know, i hope so much that she is right

i guess i only have seven more days to worry about it.

i am such an idiot, i think i am done hanging out i need to work this next week and cut this crap out.

Another Grand day

despite my inability to sleep until 5:00 am last night today has been good. I went to spanish worked on religion homework and then met up with matt we sat and talked for an hour or so and then started down campus to the newspaper office on our way there we encountered a hewn down (ha hewn!) tree with a picture of The Lorax and i laughed of course and he was like what is that and i said its the lorax of course! and he was confused so he said lets go to the library and read it. So i showed him how to look books up on the catalogue and found the book and read it, it was nice. after that we went to the newspaper office and matt got the comics for his research paper etc. After that matt went home and i finished up my project went to class had a study group watched some movies for russian at the library then went to the closing social for activities. After that i came home and chilled with cass and got extremely hyper then cass, matt, tyleen and I went bowling and i broke my high score of 46 with a 62!!!!! woohoo! After bowling we came home and just watched funny videos on the internet like nerds. WOOHOO!


tonight we are going on a denny's run it will be absolutely superb!

mreh mreh mreh

I just wish it wasn't the end of the semester
and i wish i wasn't such a freaking huge wuss


he showed me pictures of his nieces and nephews today, they were adorable.

sometimes i think he does like me, but what if he is just being nice, he is a nice guy a very nice guy. how the crap am i supposed to know anyways?

i have a week and a half and then i won't see him for nine months arg stupid stupid timing!

alright i am done i am sorry...stupid insomnia making me emotional and dumb

The Timing is all Wrong

Today was good i got up went to spanish and then as i was walking out of the building matt called me and told me he was there chilling, so i went in and we ended up talking until about two it was so nice. he taught me about alfalfa and i showed him how to diagram a sentence, i know that is silly but it was pleasant. at two we decided to skip devotional and go to lunch so we got a hold of tyleen cass and dan and went to craigo's it was fun.

I know this is stupid but it makes me feel good when matt even pretends to be interested in the things that i am interested in. I know he doesn't care about diagramming sentences or books or anything like that but he makes an effort to talk to me about the things that i am passionate about, no one else in the group tries to talk to me about stuff like that and i really do appreciate it. I am sure he thinks i am a freak of nature or something mreh

tonight was our last time at adopt a grandparent it made me a little sad they are great people

I missed my 400th post

oh well happy 401st post to me!

i am just chilling with cassidy right now waiting for my next class as 3:15, I just found out that my grammar class is cancelled tomorrow so i am basically elated because that means i only have one more time in grammar woohoo!

I am so glad these crazies are back in town i missed them so much! I should have brought my book today...... i was inder the pretense that i would actually work on my crap for russian culture yeah right...

well here is a picture of all of us who went canoeing what a fun time!

awww yeah

this weekend has been so good!!!

last night after i finished my homework Jordan, Trica, Megan, and Megan's friend Mike came over and we made ice cream and just listened to music and sat and talked mike is a way cool kid and i always love hanging out with tricia and megan so it was a great time.

today i got up went to Sacred music saturday and then to breakfast in the boy's lounge--the elders quorum made it for us it was very nice of them. After that i came home and lissa and i decided to "do homework" and watch What Lies Beneath because i had neer seen it before so we did that then went to the store and went and chilled with J.W. at his work for a little. when i got home i promptly fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until jordan came over then we went outside and threw the football around a little it was a lot of fun. after that tricia came over and invited us to go CANOEING!! on the snake river, so we went from henry's fork to beaver dick park and it was so much fun!! My friend from my english class last semester came and we went in the same canoe with Jordie and he just let us relax while he did all the paddling it was so nice to just lay back and look at the stars aaaaaahhhhhhhh i can't even begin to describe how content i was. After that we went and crashed a bonfire it was funny. When we got back to the apartment jordan made some more ice cream and we watched Acceptance which was ok.
Today has been so good i just wish that this next week would just not happen bleeeeeeeeeeehhh

yo V.I.P, lets kick it

it is weird to think that at this time in two weeks it will be my last night in rexburg. Weird!!!! jordan just taught me how to spit it was awesome!

tonight has been very productive. yesterday should have been productive but it wasn't. The only really good thing i did was that tricia and I went running. It was good tricia was patient with me which i appreciate, she is running almost 5 miles a day now so while i was winded beyond belief by the time we got to the temple she was barely breaking a sweat it was fun nonetheless.

everyone left yesterday afternoon so i have been bored/lonely but luckily jordan likes me enough to hang around a bit. one of he bad things about them leaving is i am left with the couples. like last night for instance. I was in the living room just chilling with J.w. and Melissa and Jordan and Celeste. There is nothing like being a fifth wheel to remind you of your seemingly perpetual single status.

last week i finished reading my grandparents' personal histories it was way cool i wish they were still alive i just want to talk to them about everything. i am excited to start talking to my parents about their lives i think it will be so cool, one of the reasons i want to do it is because i know virtually nothing about my dad's dad, he died when dad was 19 and dad doesn't talk about him much i wouldn't want my children to not know my dad if something happens to him because he is such a neat person.

alright i should probably do my spanish homework now.............blehhhhhhhh

arg

stupid computer lost my post arg

this week has been good i have done a lot of playing and not much work i know shame on me. I only have seven days left of classes that is beautiful in my opinion.
This weekend Cass, Tyleen, Daniel and maybe matt are all going home so i will be by my lonesome again but it will be ok because then i can get a lot of work done. I want to finish my russian papers this week so i can go home for General Conference next weekend and not have to worry about them but i think it will be hard for me to motivate myself to do this.

i am pretty much giving up on the whole matt idea because 1. i don't think he would ever find me attractive and 2. if on the off chance he actually did what would be the point? we would kiss for two weeks and then i wouldn't see him for nine months not to mention it would probably make things awkward enough that it would destroy our friendship and then i couldn't hang out with all of them any more and it would suck. So basically for the first time ever i am going to be logical and just leave well enough alone. i am going to try as hard as i can to suppress any feelings i have for him and just be his friend.

alright well i best get to writing my paper.

LA LA LA LAAAAAA

Today is a good day this whole weekend muah just marvelous
friday night cass jordan matt tyleen and daniel all went up to salmon so i was all by my lonesome. I did all my homework for this next week and around 10:30 tricia and megan came over and we decided to go pranking!
so we got in tricia's car and went on over to the local grocery store and bought some dry ice (best quote of the night by the way: tricia saying to the store clerk "you can make bombs out of ice?" hahhahaha) and some two liter bottles of pop. This was my first time doing dry ice bombs so i was pretty excited, we first went to the dorm we lived in last year and it was so hilarious, we were in the lounge when it went off and it was so loud!! we went out there and a whole bunch of people came out and were all confused looking bwhahahhaha! then we went up to The Ridge (the ritzy apartment complex) and did one there. it was awesome because we walked by right after it went off so we went over and talked to a bunch of guys who lived there and they had no idea bwhahahahha!! after that we did a couple by our apartment complex and it was PIMP!

i got up and we went to enrichment-- had lunch colored pictures for some literacy books. after that i came home read Weasel some book that matt just loves and then started reading Dandelion Wine by ray bradbury, for the umpteenth time, which made me want to go on a bike ride really bad for some reason, so i found my great grandparents old address when they lived in rexburg, hopped on lindsey's bike and went on my way. It was so cool to see where they lived!! i am a nerd like that i suppose.

after that i read some more then everyone came home finally! so cass took a shower and then we went to the park to film some stuff for a video she is making for her sister and that was fun, after that we went and tried to find matt dan and tyleen but none of them were home. So we go to our apartment and who is sitting outside our apartment but matt!! so we just chilled and talked and it was fun. So we chilled at home and then i had to go to the store blah blah blah came home and then went to daniel's from there we went and got some grub and a movie and just chilled it was a pleasant night.

Today was awesome too i got up and made dinner (pasta salad yum!) and then went to church which was just absolutely wonderful! after church tyleen came over and then matt and we all had dinner together it was so nice. After that we went on a walk to tyleen's special park, it was such a nice day and it was so wonderful to just lay in the grass mmmmm. After that i came home and they all went and played volleyball, while i read, wrote some and talked to briki. after that matt called and came and picked me up and i read him my new favorite dylan thomas poem (included below) then we went to dan's and decided to go watch a movie outside on cass' lap top it was fun especially since it was a little cold and i was sitting next to matt BOW! bwhahhaha

it was just a really really good weekend.

please read this poem out loud to do it justice.


The spire cranes. Its statue is an aviary.
From the stone nest it does not let the feathery
Carved birds blunt their striking throats on the salt gravel,
Pierce the spilt sky with diving wing in weed and heel
An inch in froth. Chimes cheat the prison spire, pelter
In time like outlaw rains on that priest, water,
Time for the swimmers' hands, music for silver lock
And mouth. Both note and plume plunge from the spire's hook.
Those craning birds are choice for you, songs that jump back
To the built voice, or fly with winter to the bells,
But do not travel down dumb wind like prodigals.
--Dylan Thomas

Sometimes

i get these overwhelming urges to do something absurdly angsty like read sylvia plath in the rain

i like having my computer with me on campus it is so much easier to blog this way

by 11:15 tomorrow my life will be simple again it is greatly anticipated

I am really good at procrastinating

i am thats all i have done for the last three days and i will continue to do it the rest of he week. This week has been hellish two tests and two papers in four days not to mention a thousand pounds of spanish homework to do bleh.

part of my procrastination last night involved watching Jesus Camp with matt, cass, and Tyleen it was very interesting and kind of creepy. Matt has to watch all of these "cultural" films for his anthropology class and i kind of like watching things like that so i have been watching movies with him it has been fun he is a good kid. apparently it isn't just me who is stressed out of their mind i just saw cass and she seemed pretty strung out.

i can't believe we only have three and a half weeks left of school, not even that much for me because my last final is on the fifth. I can tell the next bit here is really going to suck but i guess that is just how it goes. I still haven't decided what to do for the summer i know i will be home at least but i don't have any sort of a plan for a job and i really don't want a crappy job for five months mreh mreh mreh

alright i must write my paper

back again

sorry about the birthday hiatus things have been pretty intense at school and this weekend i went home for the first time this semester. It was wonderful i love being with my family so very very much i should be in spanish right now but i looked on my syllabus for my ed class and it said i had a paper due so i started to write it and what not and i realized that our teacher said it wouldn't be due till wednesday so now if i went to spanish i would be like 20 minutes late anyways so i just decided to screw it and study for my grammar test instead. mreh here is something funny for you

ancy

i am feeling awfully fidgety this evening i think i will go on a walk here in a bit, i don't know why i am feeling like this i didn't think prison break wound me up this much. maybe i am just giddy because i spent a good amount of time with someone i find quite attractive but that was hours ago but then again he did call a short while ago to see how prison break was going mreeeehhh

i hate when i start liking boys because i get obsessive diana is the same way we just sit and stew and think grrr and it becomes irritating

i am trying to sort my feelings out about my 20th birthday which is quickly approaching i am not sure how i feel, well i guess i do, i feel old. I am scared what the next year will bring for me, preston will get home my sister will have her baby and i will start preparing for a mission. weird weird weird. not being a teenager always seemed so distant to me like i would never get there and when i did i would be ready for it, i am afraid i am not. Although i do feel that i have grown up a ton this last year i am not ready to be twenty years old

i can't wait any longer to see my sis i miss her so very much

today has been normal except everything is really chill at the apartment because everyone's mom is here already it is nice and quiet so i am going to clean my room a little bit and do some spanish homework then go to russian culture and then work out and then they will be here!! and it will be great!

impending doom in the form of book club

I am a wee bit nervous for tonight we are discussing man's search for meaning and i am not sure if i fully grasp the subject matter but mreh we will see how it goes today has been pleasant class and a study group and more class, i am so excited for my family to be here i may explode only 24 more hours WOOHOOO

Another delay, Too many hassels, Where do we go, How do we follow

LALALALALALA i love today i think


went to spanish it was a grand old time as always then i proceeded to finish reading All Quiet On the Western Front made me cry stupid book saw matt and chatted for a bit then ran into good old nick and we went and passed out some book marks 350 to be exact that was a joyous time. after that we walked back up to the ricks building and lo and behold who is asleep on a couch, matt of course! so cass, who was passing, woke him up and matt and I ended up talking for about a hour and a half, it was very pleasant, he is a good person to talk to just funny and down to earth, there is not much pretense about that boy and i find it endearing.

and here comes the predicament, i have reached the point where i need to decide if i want to do the logical thing and keep my distance and maybe back up more or if i should blindly follow my emotions and let myself get more attached and more involved. Things to take into mind: 1. i am going home in a month 2. he won't be here in the fall 3. i might not come back winter 4. i don't know how he feels about me at all, he may think i am the most irritating person on the planet, but like i said he is not one for pretense i don't think he would call me etc if he didn't want to.

mreh i am not going to worry about it tonight i am going to watch prison break and sit close.

dreams

i had an odd set of dreams last night. I first dreamt about matt we were outside somewhere and we just started embracing, we just stayed that way fro a long time it was so pleasant to be held. The next involved diana and preston we were at this beauty pagent that diana was in and preston and i were wandering around the hotel i was trying to find diana and when i finally did i was so happy because i hadn't talked to her yet after i talked to her preston and i decided we wanted to go work out, but preston was in a wheel chair and was paralyzed from the waist down so i went to go get ready and i couldn't find my gym clothes so i just went in jeans, so preston and i lifted weights and then i went to find dia again and she was in this party and at first i couldn't get in and i was so frustrated but then finally the bouncer guy let me in. So i went and sat down with diana and she was a little bit drunk. we just sat and talked about what was going on around us.


i really do not want to go to school today.

i want to stay home and watch buffy the vampire slayer with melissa oh well

oh yes here is the south park version of my family that my brother in law made we are awesome

mreh mreh mreh

yesterday was a decent day i started getting irritated during the evening so i went to my room and read Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli i just adore that book and it made me feel better. at around 10:30 matt came over and he and chris and cassidy and i sat and talked in the kitchen for a good while they are good boys i like hanging out with them it makes me happy we started talking about how we probably shouldn't watch so much Prison Break and matt said well we can just watch it sparingly and do other things to like read a book and talk about it maybe and i said matt do you know how long i have been waiting for someone to say that to me? and he looked at me like i was a freak. hahahhaha mreh

anyhow we decided to exchange favorite books so i gave him my copy of catcher in the rye and he told me to get All Quiet on the Western Front from the library i started it today even though i should be reading Man's Search for Meaning since book club is on thursday (ACK) but i couldn't find it at the library any how All Quiet on the Western Front is pretty good thus far but we will see how it goes alright i am out of here

a moment alone

i see Prison Break taking over my life luckily there are only two seasons of it ahhhh tonight was fun it got me excited for next weekend for some reason. I just can't wait to see dad mom and diana it will be so nice





his name would be wentworth

cont'd

i finally called him at 9:00 with much egging from melissa
he had just gotten home from the gym, he came and got me and steph got some food rented the first season of prison break and it was a lot of fun

this is why i hate being attracted to people because i am thrown into this seemingly endless turmoil of question, it frustrates me

Internal Dialogue

should i call him
um i am thinking no
why not though the worst thing he could be is busy
yes you are right that would be the worst thing because you were ALREADY TOLD THAT HE ISN'T so if you do call him and he says he is busy then you know he is lying to get out of hanging out with you
what is the problem with calling anyway its no big deal
except he might see right through you and decide that you are an over eager crazy stalker who is obsessed with him or something
am not
just wait it out, they said he asked what you were doing tonight, if we wants to he will call
arg!


It's getting late,
anticipation.
If we talk,
communication,
then you know
I ache for you

Yes, sometimes
it's just desire,
another problem that you really don't want, but
anyway, I ache for you

There's no rhyme
and there's no reason.
You know the secret in the back of my skull.
There's no logic
so please believe me.
Love's confusing but it never gets,
it never gets dull.

friday

i am so glad it is friday i can't even describe it

hopefully tonight will be nice and relaxing and tomorrow i will get some work done. last night i looked at my midterm grades and i almost cried i have three A's a B and a C, i have never done this well sad isn't it? anyway today i have a quiz in russian culture that i shoould probably be studying for.

last night i had the weirdest dream it was a classroom setting but there were beds and stuff there we were talking about relationships and ziv and my roommate krista were in one of the beds spooning, ziv kept turning around to talk to me about our relationship then jordan came and handed me some balloons and told me happy valentines day it was weird.

ok i am off to study

sickish

i am not feeling to hot today two of my roommates are sick one with the worst case of the flue i have ever seen and one with a cold i am praying for the cold. i didn't go to grammar but rather came home collapsed in my bed for about two hours not something that happens often. i am so ready for this week to be over and i am so ready for my family to come and visit me for mother's weekend! I just received my letter from jacob in the mail it made me happy i am going to need to do a lot of writing this weekend and send some pictures to some boys lots of fun. well i think i am going to go do some reading for doctrines of the gospel

Distracted

I am sitting here trying to write a paper for my ed class that starts in an hour and i can't concentrate. The classroom near me has a guest speaker talking about drug dogs it is interesting i want to listen i don't want to write my paper.

i am trying to figure out if i want to go home this weekend or not i am thinking not because next weekend is mothers weekend so i will see mom then and i just barely got back from washington i don't think i will go. maybe i will stay home and edit jordan's papers and get some homework done.
last night i had a discussion with cassidy, recently i have found myself increasingly interested in a young man, last night i asked cassidy her opinion on the matter. She said Catherine could you honestly see yourself marrying this boy and i said that i wasn't sure but it was a possibilty, she replied that if i didn't think i wanted to marry him i shouldn't waste my time. This disturbed me, i guess i just wasn't all that aware of my age, she is right though i am to the point where relationships aren't just dating for fun they are now in preparation for marriage. This thought startled me, i am not happy about it, i want to have fun and not worry about marriage
mreh well i best quit procrastinating

What a good weekend

So i was going to go home for the weekend and i was excited but friday afternoon rolled around and cassidy said catherine why don't you just come home with me? and i said ok. so i went to washington for the weekend it was so much fun!! we just hung out with her family and what not and it was totally worth the nine hours there and back, not to mention matt and this guy chris rode with us and that made it a lot of fun as well. I absolutely love cassidy's family they are so nice i felt so welcome in their home. anyway it was a great weekend

As i walked to my first class this morning i reflected on my thoughts yesterday and i realized that i am just a horribly ungrateful person. Here i am at this wonderful university with great friends getting a good education and still i complain. I have so many blessings in my life my family loves me i live in a free country and i have this wonderful church to lift me up. I have no right to complain about something so petty.

In this apartment of beautiful young women it is often times difficult to remain positive about my appearance although i don't think that i am particularly unattractive, after spending many hours in the living room watching all the young men flirt with my wonderful roommates while only stating to me "uhh...I like your cooking" I begin to feel unappealing. I wish i could feel better about this on my own but i will be the first to admit that I need male validation. I need some one to tell me i am beautiful i need someone to find me attractive.

but alas i don't know when or if it ever will again happen

sometimes

i just feel like this

like i said best weekend ever

last night we went to matt's and watched world trade center ate pizza and has some fun:
cass and i


matt

at around 12:20 am it started raining and melissa and i took a walk it was so very nice i love to walk in the rain.
tonight cass and i made some brownies then cass tyleen and i all went puddle JUMPING!!!!!!! it was freaking awesome!




woohoo!! i hope this week goes just as well

Nice and Muddy!!

this weekend has rocked i must say.

last night was amazing i have never seen anything like that i can't even describe it, it was so awesome! after the concert i came home and read the Catcher in the Rye and chilled with cass tyleen jordan and matt then went to sleep, today i took a test went to the gym and then we played football in the mud!!!!! it was freaking awesome!! here are some pictures woot!!
melissa me tricia and krista

I am awfully muddy


fun was had by all

Acoustic Inconsistency

Last night Cass and I went to Matt's house and watched Family Guy for the second night in a row, it was amazingly hilarious i love that show. today has been pleasant i finished all of my spanish crap and i feel pretty good about the dialogue that we did today woohoo!

now i just have to take my religion test bleh we had to memorize ten scriptures i think my favorite of the ten is
Alma 7:11-12
11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.


Tonight Tricia, Megan and i are going to this dance program that is going on so that should be interesting. Also i am sending david's birthday present today i hope he likes it. alright i am out

smelly boys

boys are stupid they really are. I went to a ward party tonight it was fun, there is this guy, he is a premie he is attractive, too attractive. he has the kind of attitude of King Dave, he knows he is attractive it is so irritating. regardless he is an idiot.

ok that was pointless.

today was a really good day it was like 45 degrees the sun was shining ahh so gorgeous. Despite my fit of insomnia last night i was able to maintain a good level of consciousness in my classes, i am beginning to enjoy grammar more now that i am not so frightened of it. lallalalala anyhow i am off to do some spanish

Streams of Mercy Never Ceasing

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy unchanging love

Here I raise my Ebenezer,
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be;
Let that grace now like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Oh, that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in the blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy wondrous grace!
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send Thine angels soon to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

saturday

what a good day

i got up just chilled read my book etc. went to the gym and then i went with the neighbors and their FHE brothers to the Idaho Falls Temple it was absolutely wonderful i don't remember the last time i felt so peaceful. after the temple Jamie took me grocery shopping and we all went and got some food and watched The Ring which was alrightish.

it was a very pleasant day.

Apparently Matt is having a super bowl party right now but i don't know if i really want to go or not mreh

good end to a bad week

today has been pleasant, in russian culture we had russian food day so i had some borsht and pelini and these dumpling things as well as this stuff called kavas or something that smelled like beer but the professor claimed it was non alcoholic regardless it tasted like crap so that was fun.

when i got home from class i just kind of chilled with daniel and lindsey it was pretty cool at around 8:30 Matt called and then came over and we just talked and watched the food network and talked some more. when dan and lindsey got back from getting food etc. we decided to watch phenomenon which was mediocre mreh.
the important part is that it was a superbly relaxing evening and i got to matt a little better and that was nice as well.

Main Entry: em·pa·thy
Pronunciation: 'em-p&-thE
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek empatheia, literally, passion, from empathEs emotional, from em- + pathos feelings, emotion -- more at PATHOS
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this


i have never known what this meant until tonight, I am literally aching with you mike

I must say

Things have gone from spectacularly well to pretty darn crummy quite quickly.
this weekend was so much fun! i have already written about it in like five letters so i don't think i will bore you with too many details, but it included a retreat for Activities, a freaking hugely awesome bonfire and a sobe bomb with Matt, Daniel their friends and a bunch of my roommates, and ended with a very nice dinner with daniel and his roommates and then going to Matt's to watch sahara.

on the other hand my week started out with my ipod dying my glasses falling apart and sleeping through my first class WOOHOO!!

spanish oral test and written test tomorrow and a paper to write tonight this week will be very interesting.

i hope everyone is well.. family i love you!!!

Busy

i have been awfully busy as of late

i found out i got a 87% on my spanish test, i am very satisfied with that score.
school and what not has been way good everything is going relatively smoothly. My Russian Culture class was freaking awesome today we listened to russian pop music it was pimp. I kinda have a crush on this guy in my class his name is roger he is awfully cute, i only mention it because our relationship reached a new peak today in that he sat near me and we actually spoke opposed to the wistful gazing across the room that i have been doing previously this is quite an achievement.

last night i went to adopt a grandparent with melissa and jw it was a lot of fun we met some awesome people. tonight i have another meeting for activities, it should be good we are going on a retreat this weekend so that will be neat. I am pretty sure i have to think up a bonding activity for twenty five people crap i should get on that i suppose.

if you have the resources you should check out the song

Fall Saddles by Why?

i promise it is worth your time --thanks dia

Why?

listening for the hoofs of the rescue party.
waiting for some ghost pony to glide into berkeley
with an old fish bowl for a tear trap strapped to its ghost saddle.
and it moves slow like an exercise bike on an airport walkway.
something that wouldn't smell like ground ants or glossy magazine cologne,
but a wet street after light late summer rain,
a wooden match just lit,
or something new in the green subject of a landscape painting,
or something new in the foreground in a poster of some asian mountains
that says "patience" in a funky italics.
-The Hoofs

the flu?

i think i have got it.

it has been a very unpleasant 24 hours but i think it is clearing up a little.
I talked to my parents today it was very nice,i love them so much they are so good to me. I hadn't talked to my dad in a long time, i told him i was going to call him at work but decided not to in case he was busy and he said "call me at work anytime" it made me happy. have i ever said that i have the best family in the whole world because i do. and don't you forget it

Thanking Strangers

1. Thank you Free Hugs boys in the student union you really did make my day


2. Thank random young man who offered to take my garbage to the dumpster for me, you made me feel so good.
3. Thank you nice waitress you made my experience ten times better than it would have been otherwise.
4. Thank you to the countless young men on campus who have opened doors for me this week.
5. Thank you girls in my grammar class for making me feel comfortable while teaching about coordinating and cumulative adjectives.
5. Thank you to everyone who's blog I read for providing me some escape when i need it.

So much to do

I am going crazy i have so much crap to do in the next three days, i am feeling like i did during finals week, i hope this eases up a little bit.

This morning was really nice. I got up and took a shower ate some breakfast got ready very slowly then tricia stopped by and i got a ride to class from her. I also finished we the living this morning, it is probably the most depressing book i have ever read. it is awful, but it is really good. lallalala

ok well break time is over i must get back to those races

stupid apartment complex

the internet is out at my apartment again i am pissed so here i am blogging at the library in an uncomfortable fashion. today was crazy because of the lack of internet and my massive procrastination i barely completed the assignments due today but i did do it and that is the important thing AND i actually got up early to do them i am proud of myself woot go me.

I got a letter from david today it was grand it made me very happy i always am happy to recieve mail woohoo. I think i am just about ready to get out of this library
oh yeah i renewed my temple reccomend so hopefully next week sometime we will go do baptisms i am excited! i haven't been in the longest time! woohoo YEAH TEMPLE! anyhow. good night

grumpy

i am grumpy so i am going to go the gym, take a bath, and then read my book. I don't want to go to a movie, i don't want to go swimming i don't want to sled or off road or go to comic frenzy i just want to exercise and read by myself. This is how i like to spend my weekends. i like relaxing i like staying in bed with a good book. I like watching movies in my pajamas. That doesn't make me lazy and it doesn't make me unhealthy i just like doing different things. blegrh

bleh

here i am at the libvrary waiting for my Russian clas sto start in 3 and a half hours mreh the balmy negative thirteen degree weather is the only thing keeping me from going home. I still can't handle this whole blogging in the library thing it weirds me out a little bit anyhow. Last night megan and i went to the Philosophical society, it was very interesting, the people seemed very pleasant. It is weird how much stuff i do involving school up here, in High School i wouldn't be caught dead at a school activity. mreh. So yesterday i ran into church date it was wierd, i am willing to give him a chance to redeem himself from his overwhelming awkwardness, we will see if i ever run into him again. ok i guess i should do something productive.

today was pretty much uneventful. I went to the activities meeting and it was good. Nick, stephanie's ex boyfriend, is now the coordinator over me it is nice to have a friend in there he is hilarious. ok i must sleep if i am going to get through an hour and half of grammar tomorrow

Language is like a beautiful nymph running through a primeaval forest

that is a direct quote from my grammar professor, ridiculous
I have been meaning to write for a long time and thus i wrote this during my break and am just now typing it up.

My first weekend of first semester has come and gone quite uneventfully on friday i hung out with dear mary fora while and then megan and i went and handed out flyers for activities at the dance. I kind of like doing that because i can just sit and watch people and it is fun to be able to meet new people and what not. On saturday i had a study group for doctrines of the gospel it was quite productive and informative. the two guys in my group are both return missionaries and two or three years older than me so they are quite knowledgeable that always makes the conversation more interesting. we were talking about knowledge and light it was spiffy.

Sunday was typical first fast and testimony meeting of the new semester. pretty uneventful. yesterday i had my first ed 200 class it is the first pre req for all of my education classes i think i am going to enjoy it we talked about wether or not we should be un-biased teachers it was interesting to me because it never even crossed my mind to teach with a bias our teacher stemmed the question what if students ask you personally what your beliefs are. In my mind i would never ever tell a student my beliefs i certainly would not deny them but i would not confirm them either. It is a good class thus far

Monday night was our ward FHE it was ok we did meet some pretty cool guys in our ward. I don't know how i feel about our new "brothers" they seem a bit sketchy in my opinion.
So last night after FHE tricia megan and I went and worked out and then stopped at an apartment to chat with some girls in our ward. We were sitting there talking and this guy came in named chris and i knew that i knew him from somewhere so we asked each other all sort s of questions to try and figure it out. It turns out that Fall semester of my freshman year my roommate me my roommate and some of our other friends randomly ended up playing ultimate frisbee with him and one of his friends. we ended up exchanging numbers but never saw or heard from each other again. WIERD! So i guess he is in my ward and he seems like a really nice guy we talked about books and music and what not i hope i can get to know him better.

I just got out of devotional President and Sister Clark spoke it was good but not as good as last semester

any how have a good night everyone

lallalla

ok pretty much the best first day of school ever.

this semester is going to be way tough though. i am taking this ridiculous grammar class and i started the reading during my break and it made me want to cry.

i am also taking spanish which will be very interesting, i am going to have to work really hard but i think i can do it.

i am also taking doctrines of the gospel which i am really excited for, we don't have a ton of people in our class and i was feeling pretty comfortable with the people around me so i am happy about that. not to mention my professor is so awesome!
I am excited to go to my russian culture class tomorrow, it should be very interesting i am praying that i don't actually have to KNOW russian to take the class but there weren't any prerequisites so i think i am good. anyhow


we al went and saw Stranger Than Fiction tonight, it was the best movie ever! i felt like such a nerd though because i was like the only one in the whole stinking theater that was laughing what lameoids

ok i guess i am going to go to sleep

bleh

today has been pretty stupid.
a lot of misplaced things and overdrawn bank accounts.

but cass finally woke up so i am a bit happier, i am going to the bank here in a bit so i can straighten things out and maybe buy some food and soap. I don't think i am ready to start up again tomorrow mreeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

back in the berg

rexburg that is.


i really do love it up here. But the first night is and always will be hard. especially since cass isn't back yet i am feeling a little lonely. And i just barely realized that it was 2:30 gosh it does NOT feel that late. anyhow i am back and safe all unpacked and de-cluttered i rearranged my room so it looks really nice now, i am very pleased. anyhow i guess i am going to go to bed now

new year?

i have always felt slightly indifferent to the new year it is kind of silly in my opinion.it is just a day why should i resolve to be a better person, shouldn't i be doing that everyday of the year? regardless (irregardless hahaha) i am making some resolutions my mom always brings out the old resolutions and we make new ones for the first family home evening of the year a tradition that is kind of fun in my opinion. anyhow here they are in no particular order

study my scriptures and pray more
attend the temple at least three times a month
lose some weight
get a 4.0
become financially independent
study hard
have fun
make new friends in sandy


i might add some more if i think about it. but i feel like these are good goals. james is applying to law school because he is a genius and got a killer LSAT score. what a guy. tomorrow i return to Rexburg it will be grand i am sure.

I am so vastly horrible at life. first off i probably offended someone (sorry eric i really am) second i had the most awkward evening of my life in which i was the fifth wheel to a bunch of people i DON"T EVEN KNOW. just bad. I just feel frustrated because i know i am not that shy quiet lame girl they think i am. arg!!
anyhow this made my evening a bit better thanks dia


awesome

Sleepless

It just isn't working this whole sleep thing. I am freaking out and it is all stupid boy related i so badly wish that i could just turn my brain off. i can't even write arg forget it

An Interesting NIght

odd indeed

Anne, Maddie and Brikaeli came over at around 10:30 (and are still sleeping in the basement) we talked and laughed etc. Then we proceeded to put our pajamas on and head to smiths at about 12:30 of course once we were in the check out line i saw Owen a young man who i was infatuated with in high school it was good to see him if not a little awkward we chatted about school and what not. In october he had called me and left a message on my phone telling me to call him and realizing that i was probably in idaho. I wasn't in fact which was weird but i called him and left a message but he never called me back, at our little encounter he told me he had wanted to invite me to some party but alas couldn't get ahold of me.
he is still cute and he is still not mormon

After talking to owen and the girls saying "he is cute" when he was still only an aisle over which of course the followed with "Catherine you are all pink!" great just great, we took our sandwiches chips and cream soda and drove to the park to eat them in maddie's car, this is where it gets funny, so there we were in our pajamas drinking cream soda and listening to the lion king sound track and some guy approaches the car my immediate reaction was to lock all of the doors and that is what we did, he gestured for us to roll the window down so we cracked it. and what did he say? "do you guys know where i can get some ganja" HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA and i said "we're mormons" and it was really funny because the lion king was playing in the background hahahhahahaha poor guy just wanted some weed and only found a bunch of mormon girls drinking cream soda ahahaha so funny


anyhow after that we drove around went up to "the spot" to look at the view then drove around some more. The night ended with all of us watching saved by the bell until we fell asleep it was a wonderful night

Lazy Lazy Lazy

i am a lazy child a very lazy child all i did was eat and sit and play with music all day long. This evening all of the siblings+significant others went out to dinner poor andrew and i the only ones alone except not because he has the elusive ms. jenny to maintain a relationship with. meh meh i am not going to think about the lack of an attractive male in my life i won't do it

ok maybe i will a little

Sometimes i worry about my future husband
what if he turns out to be gay 15 years down the line
what if he beats me
what if he has an affair
what if he doesn't love me after the first six months

silly i know but this is what i thought about during dinner

sometimes i feel like my worrying spins out of control that is when i can't sleep because my brain races until i want to scream
thankfully i experienced that more often last year than this

meh

this whole post is silly

The End of a good day

today was good really good. I got everything i wanted including a pair of spectacular brown heels and an external hard drive that i am attempting to fill with wonderful music. We spent the day opening presents talking with family eating good food and enjoying the general merriment that abounded. It was so nice to be with everyone and we found out about something wonderful that is happening to my sister but i am not aloud to talk about it for another month or so but i was so happy !!!! ah so good. tomorrow night mom and dad are going on their anniversary trip and briki anne and maddie are sleeping over it will be wonderful.

diana and i are watching conan o'brien and we just finished chicken avocado sandwiches Delicious! what a nice end to a nice day

merry christmas everyone you are all neat!!

merry christmas

the past couple of days have been weird. I have felt oddly depressed. i have spent a lot of time with brikaeli it has been so nice she makes me feel a lot better. On thursday night at 3 :30 in the morning Brik and i were driving around. We happened by Ziv's house and lo and behold there he was it shocked me i guess i just didn't expect to see him it makes me mad that i still get thrown into any sort of emotion when i see him.

tonight was good we did all of our traditions (i am to lazy to make a link but it you look in december of last year there is a post about them there) and everyone was here so we had a good time. andrew and i are having a sleep over in the basement like the old days tomorrow should be fun even though it will just be the three little kids.

Thinking about next year makes me sad Joe and liz will be somewhere weird for grad school james will be in law school somewhere in the east i assume and andrew will be on his mission. i hate this feeling like we are all busting apart


merry christmas everyone i hope you all have spectacular days

just chillin

Today has been good. I woke up around 10:30 read my book watched some arrested develoment by the way i think I am in Love and then diana andrew and i went to lunch at applebees then came down to the U to chill with my good sis Liz and now here we are watching Indiana Jones harrison Ford is such a hottie well i am out

Ok i lied last time but i am being serious now

What stereotype do you belong to? Your Result: No stereotype   not preppy yet not a complete loser. has good friends and doesn't revolve life around their looks or social status. All around good person. usually liked by everyone
Loner
geek/nerd
Emo
Punk
Gamer
Jock
Preppy
What stereotype do you belong to?

ok one more

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader   You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Non-Reader
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Stolen

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West   Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
The South
North Central
The Inland North
Boston
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks!   Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract Yuppies!
You attract artsy people!
You attract unstable people!
You attract rednecks!
You attract models!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Day 2

i love vacation i really do two nights ago i got 11 hours of sleep it was blissful. today i went shopping with my mom for about four hours and i wanted to die. but then i got home and ate and slept then hung out with good old spencer and briki and it was spectacular now i am just chillin at home by myself and it is so nice i can't remember the last time i was alone like this it is very pleasant i love being a lone sometimes ahhhh

any how i hung out with david a bit today and that was nice we had a good conversation i have missed him so much alright i am out

I Conquer All

Guess who got an A in the hardest English 111 class ever? thats right yours truly. When i told him i deserved a B Brother Grant said "catherine you need to start seeing yourself as an A student because you are an A student" it made me happy. I feel so good right now and i know it is just going to get better!

To do:
White Glove my room
Study for BOM
Take BOM

GO HOME FOR FREAKING CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't begin to describe my excitement

Finals are eating my brain

I am taking a break this afternoon. I should be cleaning or working on my personal history or something like that but i am not going to until 4 o clock i am taking a break. last night was very productive, i am more than half way finished with my personal history. I should finish the agony and the ecstasy that is taking a break kind of. ok i am off to those races

La lala the end is near

I am sure you are sick of my lists that is to darn bad!

To do:
White GLove Clean Check of Death
Finish and Compile personal history
prepare for meeting with brother grant
study for Book of Mormon
Take Book of Mormon Test
EXPLODE



bwhahah my list is getting shorter

oh goodness me

Accomplished:
*response for my brother sam is dead
*response for emmett till
*cleaned room
*mental break down
*worked out 40 min
*studied first half of photo

To do:
*study last half of photo
*Young Adult Lit Final
* ten note cards on ten books
*rejoice because there are only five more days

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Thats right my friends MILES to go MILES.

but hey by tomorrow at 12:15 i will be almost half done with finals WOOHOO!
sorry about my slacking anyhow. I don;t know how i feel about this beta blogger all i know is i couldn't comment on anyone's blog and i was getting pissed

Clarity

As the week progressed it became more clear to me my misinterpretation of clint and I's relationship. i suppose the situation or rather my reaction to it may seem a bit petty to the people reading this, but one thing that i would like to make clear is that the actions or lack there of hurt my feelings quite badly.

Essentially what happened was that i had gotten something for clint for his mission, i was excited to give it to him. As this past week progressed i caught wind of a present that clint was making fro cassidy, he had assembled a book and went around and had all of her friends write notes to her. I thought this was very nice and although it did irk me a little bit I didn't think to much of it. It was not until thursday night that i realized that clint had no plans to do anything of the sort for me. That night he gave it to her she cried and i stewed. Tricia had long since realized what was happening and she told me she was sorry. On friday i gave clint my present and a card that i had made for him. as we ran around k mart that night i eyed some moccasins and he asked me if i wanted him to get me them for christmas. I think more than anything that made me the most sad. It was good to realize that he had put so much thought into that. it was nice to know that he wanted do something "special" for me. I told him no and attempted to put it all out of my mind. that night tricia and i had a sleep over and a cried for a large portion of it.

This semester i have considered clint one of my close friends, we have had some lengthy talks over the phone and wandering around rexburg. I know for a fact that he had told things to me that he hadn't even told Landin. The least i expected from him at his departure was a note saying goodbye and thanks for hanging out with him every day this semester or maybe for introducing him to all my friends and roommates i don't know.

I know shouldn't do that i shouldn't expect things from people but after he gave that book to cassidy who he has hung out with about half as much as he had with me i was expecting something and honestly don't think there is anything wrong with that.

I just feel so injured and so tromped on. It seems clear to me how much he valued my friendship and how much effort he put into this relationship. It just makes me feel so sad and used i am tired of putting so much into relationships and getting nothing back

It happened with preston with david, jacob and with countless other boys and i have just got to stop. I am done breaking down walls




A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

tomorrow i say good bye to clint for two years, he gets set apart on sunday and goes into the mtc i am sad but to overwhelmed to be preoccupied with it the 19th can't come soon enough

A Weekend at the Library

and a quite productive one at that. Thursday night i kind of freaked out, so friday i decided the only way to reduce my stress was to actually do some work. So that is what i did and i am feeling a lot better things should run pretty smoothly from here on out at least that is what i am hoping for. well i am off for a well deserved break i am going to watch trekkies in my bed and it will be fantastic