Tuesday, April 29, 2008

a few things

1. I love my nephew


2. I start work tomorrow

3. I am so glad jamie is my friend....we went to the library today and he forced me to watch Southpark about World of War craft and it was amazing


4. i can't wait for the weekend

5. I saw the movie Penelope yesterday and it was amazingly girlie and wonderful probably the best chick flick ever

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Good News

My plant is alive

i nailed a job interview on friday

hair still looks bad

Daniel's in town

I am going to the FREAKING LIMB'S next weekend!!!!!!!!!

The weather is beautiful

my room is clean

i love my family

Thursday, April 24, 2008

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY ON EARTH IT IS SNOWING ON THE 24TH OF APRIL!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?

In other news The Poisonwood Bible is awesome and Diana and I are going to apply for a job.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Saturday, It's a special day

today has been good i got up cleaned my room went to the library and then went to the movie Expelled with my dad and Crazy Uncle Doug, it was basically amazing i really enjoyed it. tonight we might go to a poetry reading so that will be cool and tomorrow church it will be grand

anyhow i am out

Friday, April 18, 2008

Weird dream

I just got up.....i had a weird dream

Matt, Daniel, Cass, Tyleen and I went to this cabin, the weather kept changing from like three feet of snow tolike absolutely perfect 75 degrees slight breezeall that jazz, Sharon, cassidy and my roommate from fall, was also there we were all being really mean to her for some reason, we were packing everything up and tyleen was harrasing sharon and i went to find everyone the cabin was set up like my house i went into the back bedroom and daniel was there on the bed i went and sat by him and we talked for a little i then went to try and pack up my stuff but all i had were plastic grocery bags i went n the bathroom and sharon had put this weird mannequin thing in the bathtub it was wearing this wig that i really wanted for some reason so i reached in and pulled it out the hair was sopping and coming out in chunks in the bathtub but i was determined to get it all finally when i did sharon came in and yelled at me about it. I went back to the room where dan was and he was asleep he woke up when i opened the door he told me to com sit by him again i went over there and we cuddled for a little bit until tyleen came and told us it was time to go as we left the room we saw cass and matt coming out of another bedroom and they wouldn't talk to me.......the scene switched and we were in rexburg again the snow was insane so so much of it i ran into this kid named ivor who was in two of my classes and he was like are you going to the grammar review and i was like well it was a take home test i just have to turn it in he just shrugged his shoulders and kept walking i went to our appartment and it was tiny and full of so much stuff you could hardly move i found my test and had to put skis on so i could get to campus to turn my test in i was really stressed and matt kept telling me to go hang out with them but i had to turn in that test then i woke up


today will be good dia and i are going running and going to apply at some places

Thursday, April 17, 2008

lunch date

went out to lunch with preston today....it was really nice, i am glad that we are still friends i love talking to him he just makes me feel good. I feel a lot better then i did the other day i think i am ready to start working i am getting bored i really hate looking for a job and getting adjusted to it bah oh well such is life i suppose

last night i hung out with elise it was a lot of fun i need to see if jamie wants to hang out sometime i miss him. i know i should start trying to make new friends but i am not sure about how to do that

i am excited this saturday diana and i are going to an open mic poetry night in the SLC it should be interesting i think....i probably won't read anything but it will be fun to go and listen well i am out

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

grumpy

This city can eat my poo
it was 80 yesterday and today it snowed

car broke down

no job

not unpacked

plant is dying

hair looks like a hobo's cause i don't have anyone's straightener to use

no friends

i think i would rather it be finals week again

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Reflecting

I just finished Till We Have Faces by CS Lewis, i didn't expect to gain much spiritual insight from it because it is loosley based on a greek myth, I was suprised when I found myself recognizing flaws in my character that i previously hadn't when reflecting back on the novel. I have come to the realization that rather than selflessly loving people i selfishly love them.
It has kind of jarred my self concept, I have always considered myself a decently charitable and empathatic person, but when it comes to the people that i love the most I am almost wholly self serving. I think I feel like in order to feel loved by them i require of them some sort of sacrifice and when they are not willing to make that sacrifice i claim them a bad friend, even if that decsion was in their best interest instead of my own.

I suppose this realization comes at a good time as i look to the summer with the hope of new friendships and rekindled old ones, i hope that i don't forget the pain of regret i feel now looking at past and present relationships.

Friday, March 28, 2008

bah

I truly despise the last two weeks of the semester.

take for instance this weekend, which i will be spending with Betsy Geddes, Alfie Kohn, Frodo, Strider, Legolas and Gimli

Bah
BAH! I SAY!

i need to write my list of things i have left to do


i need to find a job


i need to get a housing contract for fall

i need to pay rent

i need to explode into a million pieces

mostly i need to go to the gym and promptly forget about all of the above

Monday, March 24, 2008

WOAH!!! here i am post # 501!!!!! how exciting!

this weekend was way fun

my parents and diana came up for thursday friday and left saturday morning it was so very very nice to see them, just what i needed in fact. I always get so sad when i leave them or they leave me though it is kind of silly

saturday i just chilled mostly then dan matt cass and i went to dinner and just hung out. Today was just about the best easter i have ever had, i woke up to pancakes made by the beautiful janiece and then church was amazing. After church we had a delicious supper of roast and potatoes by cass then we just chilled i took a nap hehehehehe after that we decided to go take some pictures at the skate park so here are some of them. over all a pretty darn good day


Monday, March 17, 2008

I just experienced the most worthless 60 minutes of my entire life.


and i am pretty pissed about it

Friday, March 14, 2008

Surprise!

Today as i walked to my biology class i was literally stopped in my tracks by the appearance of bright green grass outside the Austin Building. Despite the three inches of snow we got yesterday it still peeked through and just made my day.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

T.S. wholiot?

so i am reading burnt norton by ts eliot for my christian authors class, i reallly like it even though i don't understand it. I bought the book used and on the inside cover is a a name and address with the class name and section of a student who used the book in the winter of 1974. It made me feel strange finding that, I think that is why i like used books so much....who owned it before me what were there thoughts, why did they sell it.... so thank you Lynda Shultz for perspective and for your clean and conscise handwritten notes in the margins.



What might have been is an abstraction

Remaining a perpetual possibility

Only in a world of speculation.

What might have been and what has been

Point to one end, which is always present.

Footfalls echo in the memory

Down the passage which we did not take

Towards the door we never opened

T.S. Eliot, Burnt Norton

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Birthday time again

here i am once again with my post birthday post. It is funny i went back and read my post from a year ago and i wrote something then that i wrote to clint not two days ago, that i always felt this place i am in now would never come and when it did that i would be ready for it and the fact of the matter is that i am not. Yesterday was so much fun, i went to class went to lunch with janiece and cass, had dinner with the dinner group then we all went bowling and made a cookie monster. Daniel was even able to come cause he didn't go ski yesterday, it was nice. But despite being surrounded by people that i know care about me I kept slipping into thoughts about my life and how dissatisfied i am with how some of it has turned out. I feel like last year i thought that by this time i would have figured something out, that something would have changed, but i am still stuck i am still stuck in a place i can't seem to pull myself from not even with outside help. There is no doubt in my mind that i have changed in the last year, that i have learned valuable lessons that i hope i don't forget. But there is something more that hasn't been reached that should have been by now. I feel incomplete. And not just that, the onset of age frightens me, it makes me ache that things won't stay the same that people are going to get married, that my family will disperse further, that i will move on too. One day i will come home to an apartment that cass won't be in, and i will come to college without matt being there. I know i should embrace the transient nature of human existence but i can't i just want to cling to the comfort of my rut. I wonder if this will ever change, if a new year will ever bring me excitement instead of dread and sadness.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Weekend?

We have had an eventful weekend!

yesterday we were all going to go this coffee house in Idaho Falls to see Jared's roommate play his guitar, we decided to go early and go shopping first so we left at about 4. When we got there Cass started feeling sick and ended up throwing up a couple of times at the mall. Cass and I decided to go home and left the other roommates in the hands of the Wheelers. We made it home and cass just couldn't keep anything down, At about 9:30 Daniel came over and gave her a blessing and then he and I went to the store to get stuff for her. We got back and she tried some Gatorade and ended up throwing up blood. She called her parents and her dad told me to take her to the hospital. so off we went. She got an I.V and some medication and we were there till about 2. when we got home we both passed out pretty quickly.

I know this is weird but i am so thankful for this experience. It made me grateful for my friends. For Daniel to be able to use the priesthood. for cass and her strength and humor even when she feels like she is going to die. And also for being able to serve the people i love and care about. I don't know if i could possibly ask for a better night than spending it helping cass out. I feel like she has done so much for me and it is a good experience for me to feel like she depends on me as much as i depend on her. I love you miss cass-a-frass and i hope you feel better today!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Tell me about vision

A melancholy song
pulsing in my head
while i grapple with
platonic touches
clarified by a subconcious mind
A Joyce induced paralysis
cements thoughts

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Cold that freezes noses,
cracks teeth.
that seeps through
thermals under jeans
and double layered socks

Weather
that is no respecter of persons,
the kind of cold
that squeezes
warm breaths
into shallow icy blasts

Frigid fingers,
tracing ears
and necks

Monday, February 11, 2008

Thoughts While on the Elliptical Pt 2:

I'll
swish swish swish
till sweat and tears
run rivulets
and pain
of body and mind
are one in the same

I'll
swish swish swish
brute strength forcing
iron to iron
till sadness and exhaustion
form some nebulous
ethereal cloud

I'll
shower
emotion away
running down drains
to some unknown pipe
away from complacency felt
just days ago

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Tears, Idle Tears

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad,so fresh, the days that are no more

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square:
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in LIfe, the days that are no more!

--Alfred Lord Tennyson

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I am taking a break from blogging

I don't know how long i just need to figure some crap out before i continue bearing my soul to the world. Good Luck to all.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I'll have a blue christmas without you

Tonight the impact of the lack of siblings in the house was felt ten fold, dad mom diana and i went and got the christmas tree, as we walked around looking at them diana lamented how she missed andrew and i agreed. We finally decided on a substandard christmas tree and returned dia and left to get the egg nog and only then did i cry and only briefly. We returned and we decorated the tree, and i felt achey but once the manaheim steamroller started playing things felt better. I was going to call daniel to see if he was still in utah and wanted to hang out but i chickened out, we don't really ever hang out just us ever so i thought it might be awkward or something.

Instead i stayed home and made christmas cards and as soon as i pry myself away from stickam (which is like blog lurking times a million and amazing) i will make some mixes and watch stranger than fiction. it should be nice. well i am out

Friday, December 14, 2007

I want to die a little less today

well it is done, the tests the papers the cleaning and now i just have to wait to go home.
today was goodish
i was full of stressy badness and reached my breaking point a lot later in the week than i had anticipated, a hour before my last class i went to the taylor chapel and broke down, i am glad i wasn't around anyone but james called me right then and i talked to him and he made me feel better, he always does.

currently I am sitting in Daniel's apartment with kallen tyleen nick and carly it has been an ok night i have just been sitting on this here couch watching the boys clean mostly i am just tired and kinda hungry. i am excited for tomorrow i get to go home and go with preston to see the King's Singers and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform together it will most surely be excellent. well i don't really have much else (nick, I am watching you hehehhehe)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I want to die

Monday, December 10, 2007

A grand old weekend Cont'd

Holden Caulfield hates the word grand but that is beside the point.

so i thought i would finish up cataloging the weekend because it got even better today. I got up and went to church which was absolutely fantastic and rejuvenating and peaceful and just wonderful. We went to Daniel's and had delicious curry that kallen made for us then matt dan and I all zonked out on couches for a good hour, it was an amazing nap. After we woke up everyone came back over including sadly enough kallen's friends from pocatello who i am not all that fond of but mreh. Nick and Tyleen made amazing peanut butter cookies and Nick and i had an absolutely scintillating conversation about books.....it made my night basically, i forget how much i like to talk to people about literature it is so very nice, after that we came back to tyleen's and they all played games and i talked to my mom who reminded me that i get to talk to my little brother over christmas!!!!!! WOOHOO I TOTALLY FORGOT! anyhow and i read catcher in the rye for a while. then matt and janiece and I watched part of the notebook and her friend Other Matt came over...he is weird...he hit on me...i didn't like it. now i am going to go to sleep and wake up so early and write my paper and go to class and fix my other papers and turn everything in and read animal farm and do ed psych and work and work and work until i want to EXPLODE!!! ahhh i can't wait until friday.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

A grand old weekend

this weekend rocked even if i didn't do any homework again. friday we all got together and had pizza then went to the slam dunk contest (not really my sort of event but tyleen wanted to go so meh) then i went with matt to go get ammunition for his gun (HA) after that we played wallyball which was amazing!!! went to horkley's and watched a movie it was quite enjoyable. On saturday tyleen and I went to the store with Kallen then went and worked for a while in the ricks building, after that we came home and just chilled till cass and jared picked me up and we went to lunch. After that i showered and got ready and went with Nick to The Taming of the Shrew, i can't tell you how refreshing it was to be able to do something that i like to do...i guess i will get a lot of that next semester doing FA 100 with daniel too bad he will be complaining the whole time.....

this week is finals week so that will be interesting i am not ready and i am scared that i won't finish everything i keep thinking about it and wanting to just crawl into bed and never come out----one more week one more week i can do it!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

pretty lame

I have been pretty bad at blogging since thanksgiving...sorry? I am not sure who exactly i was apologizing to there....
Things have been...interesting. The past three weeks have probably been some of the most difficult of my life thus far, i am just trying to figure crap out about a mission, school, family stuff, boys etc Its funny, the only thing that i figured out really is something that i felt i already new before, I want to be a teacher. That is important to me. I guess i have always thought about it more as a means to an end sort of thing, i was doing it so i could be a librarian. This week i had a conversation with one of my teachers, she told me i needed to become more emotionally invested in my education this is so selfish but i hadn't realized what the impact of my apathy would be, i know that if i don't start caring a lot more i am going to end up being one of those english teachers that everyone mocks and tries to transfer out of their class. That is frightening to me.
well two more weeks that is all i think i can do it, it will be rough but i can.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

Saturday, November 24, 2007

fighting sleep so i can blog blog blog

This week has been wonderful we went to my Aunt's for thanksgiving and then today me and diana and the parents went to temple square as per tradition, it was pretty sad with just the four of us but still fun. I am glad that diana and i have been able to hang out this week i miss her when i am not here. I am only slightly dreading school next week i feel like that aspect of my life is the most out of control but i feel like i got a lot done this weekend so hopefully that will ease the stress. The parents are letting me take a car back to school till christmas so that will be nice to have. I am ready to be back with my friends i think. I haven't really done a whole lot of being with people this week i don't know what the deal is but it has been a good refresher. tomorrow will be good i am going to do homework all day then at night hang out with chris---we made plans but i don't know if they will actually pan out or not. Well here are some pictures from thursday enjoy!




Bliss i tell you absolute bliss, there is no comfort like being in the arms of my mother.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

cop out blog#2

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Newspaper carrier
2. chocalatier (how do you spell that)
3. assistant at a nursing home
4. Temp


> Four movies you would watch over and over again:
1. Pride and Prejudice (6 hour version)
2. Better of Dead
3. Moulin Rouge
4. Bill and Ted's excellent adventure

> Four places you have lived:
1. Sandy, Utah
2. Rexburg,Idaho
3. ?
4. ?

> T.V. shows that I watch:
1. The Office
2. Hogan Knows Best
3. America's Most Smartest Model
4. Arrested Development

> Four Places I Want to Go:
1. England
2. Ireland
3. Maine
3. Switzerland
>
> People who e-mail you (regularly):
1. Siblings
2. Parents
3. David
4. thats about it
>
> Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate in general
2. Dad's Pancakes
3. Reed's Dairy chocolate milk
4. spaghetti carbonara
>
>
> Four places I wish I was/ or need to be right now:
1. Asleep
2. doing homework
3. in rexburg with friends
4. with friends here
>
> Four friends I think will respond:
1. I think this is a dumb question
2.
3.
4.
>
> Things you are looking forward to this year:
1. Christmas break
2. seeing James and Karen at Christmas
3. being finished with this semester

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ben Lee

In the rain
I'm walking slowly
there's a light
in your apartmant
I don't know why
I ache for you

and it's alright if you're undecided or,
if you're scared that you might like it or
if it's true, I ache for you

there's no rhyme and there's no reason
you're the secret in the back of my skull
there's no logic, so please believe me
our love's confusing, but it never gets dull

it's getting late
anticipation
and if we talk
communication
and then you'll know
I ache for you

and yes sometimes it's just desire
another problem there you really don't want
but anyway, I ache for you.

there's no rhyme and there's no reason
I know the secret in the back of my skull
there's no logic, so please believe me
our love's confusing, but it never gets, it never gets dull

I ache for you.

I ache for you.

and I'm tired, of so much wanting
and what if, don't even think it
but why not.

there's no rhyme and there's no reason
put a secret in the back of my skull (back of my skull)
there's no logic, so please believe me
our love's confusing, but it never gets dull (it never gets dull)

there's no rhyme and there's no reason
you're the secret in the back of my skull (back of my skull)
there's no logic, so please believe me
our love's confusing, but it never gets dull (never gets dull)
but it never gets dull (never gets dull)
never gets dull
I ache for you

Sunday, November 18, 2007

i am home

and here are some pictures:

Denny's run cass me daniel tyleen



Monday, November 12, 2007

BAHA!

Today has been good but stressful, i had to write a paper and then go talk to my professor about it. It was nerve racking but he gave me a B so that was good. After that i went to class and then came home and started cooking dinner then Matt got here (woohoo!!!) and we all ate and now we are chilling in the library "doing homework" well everyone else really is except me. Anyhow I am going to take this opportunity to shout out to Nick (hey nick!) who told me at dinner time that i started blogging before he knew what a blog was....that made me laugh. I am out.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Thoughts While on the Elliptical:

Just because my friends aren't happy doesn't mean that i can't be.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

mreh

I got a letter from my brother today it was wonderful! he seems to be doing well, but also a little stressed. Tonight has been good we ate dinner and watched the office and i think i am going to go to the gym here in a little but and then i will watch cass, tyleen and janiece's basketball game at 10. I am glad this week picked up and that tomorrow is friday even though i will just be doing homework this weekend and nothing fun. Matt gets here in about two days i am so very excited to see him again it will be very nice. I am also excited for thanksgiving it will be good to be at home with the fam for a while, and hopefully i will be able to figure things out while i am there and make some sort of decision. Well i think that is all i have to say. I miss andrew. School is hard. Friends are the best.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

deedle dee

check out my new link to Nick's (of dinner group fame) blog i am drowning in a sea of homeworky badness......

Monday, November 05, 2007

More than Semi-Awkward Library post

i really do despise blogging in the library but alas....no internet at the apartment for the time being. Things are going ok today, it has been a little hairy but i feel better than i did this morning.
Last night dad and mom called me and the first thing dad asked me was if i had decided if i was going on mission or not. It freaked me out. He told me that the sooner i decided the easier it would be. So i told him i would decide by the end of the year, but it put me all out of sorts i had trouble sleeping last night and a hard time focusing this morning then i talked to tyleen and i realized that if i don't want to decide right now i don't have to, although my parents are an integral part of my life it is nonetheless MY life and if i feel like i need more time to figure things out then i am going to take it. It made me feel a whole lot better about everything.

next week Matt gets here and i am so excited! Except it will be a lot harder to study when he is around i think. I am sad that tyleen is leaving next semester she has been such a good friend to me the past few months i don't know what i am going to do without her.

I register for next semester's classes this week, i am taking this stupid fine arts class with daniel we have to go to a bunch of concerts and crap on campus, i am glad he is taking it with me, i am also going to try and get into the Old Testament class that he is taking that would be fun as well. Alright i must go study or something.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

I feel like this week, actually this whole semester has absolutely flown! I am anticipating November to bring great things, matt gets back in rexburg in about 12 days and in 16 it will be thanksgiving break.

My little brother left on his mission yesterday, i did better than i thought i would, i only cried once. I wrote him a letter already and sent it off, i hope he is doing well, I miss him already.
Right now i am in the midst of writing a paper about Dover Beach i think it is probably one of the best things i have ever written, i absolutely adore that poem.

We got our midterms and i am actually feeling pretty good about school, i need to do some catch up work but i feel like good grades are within reach.
Things in rexburg have been wonderful i am reminded daily how blessed and lucky i am to be surrounded by such great people that care about me and love me. Tyleen and Janiece are going out of town this weekend so i am hoping to get a lot of homework done and cass and i have plans to hike up R mountain weather permitting. We started a dinner group...i don't know if i have mentioned that yet, it consists of me, Cass, Tyleen, Janiece, Daniel, and two of his roommates Nick and Kallen. It is so nice at the end of the day to have a good meal and good company to enjoy it with. I feel like it has helped me regain some sort of order in my life. Well i best get cracking at that paper

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Home

So good to be here! Cass and i got in at about 1 yesterday, did some shopping went to lunch and then she left, i attempted to take a nap unsuccesfully so andrew and i went to visit Preston which was horrendously awkward and i probably said like three words to him. bah. Then i went to dinner with jamie which was nice, i really like hanging out with him i am glad that we could get together. Then i went home and chilled there for a while till chris called and then we went and walked around and talked. I really like hanging out with chris, he told me he would teach me how to play the guitar which would be cool.

I went to sleep at like 9:30 last night and woke up at nine which i feel pretty good about since i got like 2 hours of sleep the night before.

This morning i got up and went running....about 2 miles i am feeling pretty good about this running thing on thursday me and Cass did about 2.5, i have never gone that far it felt really good. I also measured my waist today and i have lost 3 inches so i am happy about that. I have also lost about 5 pounds since the last time i was home so that is also exciting. ok well i am off to have lunch with the girls....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

i did my mid term for a million years today and didn't get much accomplished which is strange since i feel like my brain is going to explode

i just want this week to be over

but i don't because then andrew will be gone

Thursday, October 18, 2007

oh yeah....

I am falling for Matthew Arnold

Dover Beach


he sea is calm to-night.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the A gaean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.


Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

mmm librarything

i am pretty excited about the new edition to my blog!

So jared came up today it has been good to see him he is a funny boy and so very nice. This evening we all watched the office till nine then cass and jared went to get ice cream and i didn't go with them cause i am trying to be better about eating crap especially at night time so i just hung out with daniel and tyleen till 11 when they decided to go fly kites (hardcore kites of course) with janiece and her special friend eric and since i was cold WITHOUT going outside and since i assumed they would all be back at curfew in a hour i decided to stay home. So here i am not tired and not wanting to try to sleep with no one to talk to because ( dramatic pause) I DON'T HAVE SOME MAN TO SPEND MY TIME WITH

the worst part about it is that i don't even have class till 3:15 tomorrow! I don't HAVE to sleep tonight arg whatever.


chris called tonight it was good to hear from him i sent him a cd a little bit ago and he seems to be enjoying it which makes me happy i still don't know what to do with him he keeps saying little things that are cute and nice that confuse me. i am glad i am going home next weekend so we can hang out again.

alright i am out

Friday, October 12, 2007

BABY!


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

I feel like drama is stalking me.

It only became my drama when i went home, and i am glad that i am in rexburg again and the responsibility is easing off my mind Now that i am back it has simmered down to those around me. I don't think there is anything that injures me more than seeing people i love hurting and not being able to do anything about that. I feel like that has been the theme of my life the past couple of weeks. I just can't fix people. I can't do anything to help them, all i can do is listen and tell them i am sorry, and it frustrates me.
On the other hand school is going relatively well. I am enjoying my classes.

i just wish there were some light switch i could flick to make things better for people.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Busy Busy Busy

this week has been a wee bit insane.

well more than this week last weekend too

Jared-cass' friend- came up on thursday he is a way fun guy we all hung out and everything, on friday we went to this coolplace called Green Canyon about 15 minutes from rexburg, it is a pool/hotsprings place it was way fun we went with Melissa and JW and it was so good to see them. On Saturday we decided to go to Jackson Hole. So cass and jared and I left at like one went and got lunch there and just walked around it was so pretty and a little rainy which made it better. we got home around nine had some dinner then watched star wars: a new hope it was hilarious. I really like jared he is a way cool kid i am glad i could meet him. On Sunday Andrew came up to rexburg and came with me to church and then all of us went to Mesa Falls after that Andrew and i went on a walk it was so nice to talk to him I will miss him so much when he leaves. he left monday morning it was sad a little bit.

yesterday i had a paper due so i basically didn't sleep and got it finished just in time for class only to find out we didn't have to turn it in yet but i am glad that it is finished and that i can tweak it some.

this weekend i am going home for General Conference Jared lives in utah and cass is coming down so we are all going to hang out again, i am excited to see my family, jamie, chris, and elise.

here are some pictures from the weekend it was a good time





Wednesday, September 26, 2007

deedled dee!!!

So saturday we ended up going bridge jumping which was awesome and horribly frightening. It was a good experience i am glad i did it.

Today has been good i was supposed to have a paper due tomorrow but my prof emailed us and said not till tuesday WOOT!!! and since i thought that was what i was going to be doing all night i got to play instead (i can't deny the procrastinator in me) so i saw Melissa and JW they seem to be doing well i miss lissa so much! then i talked to matt briefly and went to daniel's to hang out with him and tyleen. I really like hanging out with daniel he is just such a nice boy he has been teasing me about matt lately it is awkward and embarrassing. What i really like about him is that he is as much of a toucher as i am so if we are sitting by each other he will make contact and after hanging out with cass tyleen clint david jamie etc. it is so NICE to be able to do that and the other person not freak out on you. thats all i have to say about that.

Tomorrow is going to rock we are going to the temple and watching the office woohoo!!! and Jared, Cassidy's friend from alaska, is coming up so i finally get to meet him which is fun. alright i am out

Saturday, September 22, 2007

rollerblading gang + bowling





a big step in the life of catherine

this week went by so quickly i just don't know what to do with myself.

This semester and also during the summer as well i have been trying to be less of a wiener about things. This week i feel i have shown significant improvement for instances we have been roller blading a couple times and we are going bridge jumping today. More importantly on friday i actually approached a guy.

i know amazing isn't it.

there is this guy in my Ed class who is cute so as we were walking out i asked him if he wanted to go bowling with us this weekend sadly he was going out of town. But we walked a bit of the way home together and just chatted it was pleasant he is cool. basically i thought i would ever find the courage to do something like that and i am proud of myself. ok it is definitely time to play i will post some pics later

Sunday, September 16, 2007

uhh awkward

i suck at blogging lately, one day i will get my act together.

so i was all sad cause cass and tyleen went to utah this last weekend and i stayed home to do homework and i thought it was going to be the lamest weekend ever BUT it turned out to be awesome!

on friday i just studied with tricia at her apartment and that was good and then on saturday we rafted the Hoback on the snake river--we went through some rapids and it was so much fun!!!

This week has been good we finished reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court in my american lit class and started Hard Times in Brit lit so i have done a lot of reading! It has been awesome i love english classes so much even though they make men participate which i don't like. It is not that i don't have thoughts about the novel it is just that i never find a good space to put in my comments bleh hate spinnerbait!

i have really liked what i have read so far it has been interesting because we are talking about the industrial revolution in both america and in britain it is quite the juxtaposition!

I have been having so much fun up here. I forgot how nice it is to be able to talk to my friends about religious things without them jumping all over me for it. It is good respite from the summer.

Last night was particularly enjoyable, i went rollerblading with tyleen and janiece and then we went to albertsons with daniel to hit up their 10 for 10 deal amazing! cass and i watched pretty in pink afterwards i am so glad that we decided to live in the same room this year it has been absolutely wonderful thus far.

the only thing missing in all of this is our good friend matt i just wish he was here so bad, i like talking to him on the phone and stuff but i just wish he were here only two more months!! alright well i best do some reading

Monday, September 10, 2007

i am back!


here is a picture of me and ezra my sweet little nephew


so i am back in rexburg and thus far it has been good yet quite boring. Today i have just been reading The Power of One which is a book about boxing in South Africa, it is excellent. I also went and got books viewed the lovely gardens and went to the gym it was quite nice. three other girls have moved in the apartment and they all seem pretty nice, i am anxious for cassidy to get up here though, things just aren't the same without her. rexburg is essentially the same aside from the horrendous construction on campus and the millions of obnoxious freshman girls (was i really like that?) so that is nice I am excited to start school and start reading for my classes etc.

I have seen some people from last year and that is cool and weird...i don't know once i get settled i am sure things will be great but right now i am still feeling frantic and what not

alright i think it is time to sleep probably

Sunday, September 02, 2007

blarging

That is my new word for lethargic blogging. My life has a been a wee bit crazy this month and it will only get crazier this week. Thus i am officially going on blogging hiatus until the ninth of september, then i will be all moved back into my apartment and cass won't be there yet so i will have nothing to do except blog and read until school starts, sounds pretty stellar if you ask me until then.......have fun etc

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I am an Aunt!!


pretty exciting if you ask me

Sunday, August 19, 2007

holy hannah

a lot has happened

david and james went to school a week ago today, i started a new job on wednesday, jamie told me he has a mouth tumour on thursday, i said my goodbyes to briki and whit, found out that Myrl one of the ladies from the rest home i worked in last year passed away, and andrew moved home yesterday, today i taught sunday school and liz and joe came over for dinner which was followed by contractions every five minutes and hope for a nephew before the day is through.

i love my job

i love my church

i love my friends

i love my family

i am anxious about school.

Friday, August 10, 2007

friday

today was pretty good, i slept at Elise's last night after we hung out with good old david and that was fun. I came home around eight thirty and mom and I went to go help a friend of her's in her friend's library. Apparently some horrible tech guy erased her entire library catalog so we were there from 9 to 2:30 helping her start to enter everything back in. I am hoping i can do this more it is good experience and i like looking at all the books, not to mention Kathy is a really cool lady. after coming home diana and i went to the bank/library/starbucks it was very pleasant i am glad diana is home it is fun to hang out with her more. this evening whitney and hans came over for a bit and we had a good chat. After they left i started feeling a little down and dad suggested i go work out so i started riding the bike and got sick of that after about five minutes, and then i went running. by myself. it was really good. i want to do it more, i always felt like i was bad at it but it helps to have music etc. it made me feel better anyhow. well i guess i am going to go sleep or something

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Things i learned while working at Nike

1. there is a whole lot of crap in this world and by crap i mean ugly Nike apparel
2. there is nothing in the world i loathe more than mesh shirts
3. a whole lot of bonding can go on over hangers
4. attitude breeds attitude and to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
5. Nike is the greek goddess of victory.
6. having ten hours a day to think about things is both good and bad.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

another night

chris came and got me at 11 and we spent a couple of hours chatting again it was nice.

He is going on a road trip by himself on wednesday so i made him a cd and what not.

here is my problem with chris, i don't want to be attracted to him, i want to be his friend. i don't want to wait with anticipation for the end of the night when he will hug me, i don't want to worry about how many times i call him or what i look like when i see him, i don't want to censor myself around him. I just want our friendship to be like me and jamie's. no attraction. just friends. i am going to try really hard to ignore my feelings, i stopped liking matt didn't i? the problem is i have already talked to chris about things that i have only told whitney and diana, i am just screwing myself over so unless i can get my feelings in check i don't think i should have anymore late night talks with him or else this will turn into a preston/jacob/clint situation, good friends with one sided feelings, i don't know that i could deal with that.

on to other things...

last night at B&N there was this guy, pretty attractive not to mention he was buying Dostoevsky's The Idiot which is hot in itself. Anyhow jamie kept goading me to go talk to him but i couldn't bring myself to do it, what on earth would i say in a situation like that? i think your cute. we should hang out? the very thought of it makes me ill probably because that is just about the last thing i would want anyone to ever know, i know it is childish but the thought of someone knowing i felt that way is absolutely mortifying.

so here is my real question, how freaked out would you be if a semi-attractive girl in B&N hit on you? is this socially acceptable?

ok i need to work out or something

Sunday, August 05, 2007

An Interesting Saturday

Yesterday was nice, i went to Liz's baby shower and then came home and just chilled. At six thirty we went to karen's family's household for a going away-ish barbecue it was a lot of fun. I really like her family they are funny and easy to talk to we are lucky that james married into such a cool family. So we ate and talked etc till around nine and then i called chris, he was on his way to go see the bourne ultimatum and i really wasn't feeling that so i decided to stay home and work on my sunday school lesson so that was good.

At about twenty to one chris called me and asked me if i just wanted to talk for a while so he came and got me and we ended up driving around until about 4 in the morning. It was a good experience and it made me realized that i am perfectly content with chris' friendship and nothing more.
We talked about all sorts of things ranging from religion to our families, what i really like about chris is that i feel like he is a very genuine person and that makes me feel good.

During the course of our conversation i told him about my struggles with my "hot" friends/sister and how i often feel pushed to the background and he sympathized well...i never realized that guys could experience the same thing, but when i think about chris' friends i understand how he felt that way too. I just wanted to tell him that even if he didn't think so, that there were girls out there who thought he was more attractive than his friends, i figure it would just fall on deaf ears anyway because i generally disregard people who say things like that to me. Not to mention i didn't want to give myself away, i tend to blurt things out quite readily late at night so i am glad i kept everything in check.

i am glad that chris and i could reconnect, he told me that he didn't know why he felt like he could be so open with me. It is just a good feeling to be trusted like that it makes me very happy. ok well i am going to go have some ice cream with papa bouli

pictures from yesterday

Saturday, August 04, 2007

work

and not much else since i started, my hours are 8 to 6 monday though friday and i don't get home till about 6:45 and then i generally leave to go hang out with people so i haven't had much time for the blogging world.

today my sis had a baby shower and that was nice only two more weeks and i will be and aunt!! so exciting.

my dear jamesie and karen are leaving next week i will miss them so much, james is going to do so well in law school

whitney leaves for china next week too so it will be a hard one i think

this summer has gone by really fast i think i am so excited to go back to rexburg but i always have this aversion to change, i know i will have so much fun up there but all i can think about is james leaving and andrew leaving and whit leaving and how when i come home again it just will be so very different.

Tonight i will be going to a barbecue at Karen's family's abode and then i am hanging out with chris so that will be nice i am sure alright i am out

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Employment

i am employed.

restocking merchandise for 12$ an hour, alas it only lasts a week oh well.

i have to go to work now

how strange.

Monday, July 23, 2007

good day-ish

today was goodish

i went a bit of a hike up to cecret lake up little cottonwood it was absolutely gorgeous up there and i saw a moose! this afternoon i just hung out with mom and read the fountainhead (i know i can't believe i am still reading it ) this evening dad and i will be watching the last mimsy and i am sure that will be grand. I have felt kind of grumpy this evening i don't know why but i just don't feel very happy right now alright i am out

Sunday, July 22, 2007

JAMES!

go look at the sibling blog

Saturday, July 21, 2007

who am I kidding

diana made fun of me for posting that "chris is a cool kid" or whatever it it that i said down there because on the way home he is all that i talked about.
i would be full of lies if i said that i didn't feel something for him last night now the question is do i let these feelings progress or do i stymie them so as to save my feelings.
my problem is is that i am having trouble reading these signals of his they are very confusing.

i think i will take karen's advice and see if his behavior is consistent gosh i am a nerd.

i am more than half way through with Harry Potter 7 it is just excellent

amazing night

so basically the last two days have been absolutely wonderful.
Yesterday i went down to salt lake to pick up diana and we ended up hanging out with our friend kayla for a couple hours and that was really fun after that i came home and got ready to go camping i left at about 2:30 and we bought some food and thus began our adventure. we went to about 4 different campsites in both canyons and all were full so we ended up hiking up white pine trail for a ways playing in a stream and then going back to whit's. At whitney's we ate some food and called some people and went swimming it was way fun because diana and marcus came and Hans was there and a few of his friends as well as Jamie and Chris it was so much fun!


I spent a lot of time talking to/ harassing chris, he is such a cool kid.
well i am off to work

Friday, July 20, 2007

i am writing this post only to assure myself of my sanity

i can't sleep i talked to matt i talked to cass and i can't sleep so i turned on the tv and found this pbs show about ferrets or rather people who are obsessed with ferrets this program is absurd i came to this conclusion when more than one of the women being interviewed started crying about The Rainbow Bridge
i just don't understand this.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

today sucked then i went boating and it stopped sucking

we left about three to go up to Jordanelle it was absolutley gorgeous i tried my hand at wakeboarding (i was so close to actually getting up!) and then we went tubing it was so awesome and wonderful ahh i love the boat! tomorrow i am going camping with some friends up the canyon and that will very pleasant AND i found a canoe to rent so we will be going canoeing here in a bit and that will be so grand i do love canoeing ok i am going to pass out goodnight

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Thoughts whilst lurking

I was lurking about on facebook this evening and came a crossed a profile of one of the more "popular" girls in my high school class whom i wasn't too fond of. While i lurked i kept wondering why i had these ill feelings towards this girl because now that i thought about it she was actually always quite pleasant to me. It must have been her perfectly coifed hair and her always stylish and nice clothing that i so detested.
I remember feeling a distinct sense of inadequacy around girls like that, even with my disillusioned view of their lower intelligence my self-esteem couldn't be tricked into feeling as good or as pretty as they were.

interesting how the mind of a girl works at any age.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A List of Likes and Dislikes in the Early Morning Hours

Likes:
1. Young Richard Dreyfus
2. Julia Roberts
3. Howard Roark
4. Honeydew
5. Interactive Male Commercials

Dislikes:
1. Faux-Enagaement pictures
2. Ho's
3.Bad Comedians
4. Spiders
5. Waiting for a call

Monday, July 09, 2007

weight-loss update

Weight Lost:5 lbs.
Inches Lost: .5

Back in Rexburg

I went to Rexburg this last weekend to go to a wedding reception and also to just hang it, it was a lot of fun, i got to see tricia and melissa and JW and jordan and matt, it was just wonderful. i had such a good time. It was weird being up there with out cass though and i decided she is one of the reasons why i love being in idaho so i was missing her a lot this weekend.

it was really nice to see matt, i talk to him a lot on the phone so it was good to be with him in person even though i feel like it is easier for me to talk to him over the phone it was still pleasant, he is pretty dang attractive but i am not going to worry about that for another six months since that is when i will see him next ahhhh.


well one exciting thing that happened over the weekend was that we started a fire in tricia's apartment it was pretty hilarious so here are some pictures anyhow i hope that everyones weekend was just spectacular


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I am the most awkward person alive

funny how things have been going the past week i have run into two boys that i was infatuated with in the past. yesterday jamie and i went to the library. There we say Owen I of course turned into a giggling blushing mess who couldn't string an intelligent sentence together to save her life and he of course was hilarious and attractive. I keep going over it in my head and wanting ralph on someone gosh i am such an idiot. But for some reason or another he got my phone number from me before he left, i think he realizes the power he has over me and enjoys it because he just kept staring at me and i just kept giggling like a freaking idiot. not to mention the fact that jamie is completely unable to make small talk so there were plenty of awkward pauses to pass around. mreh

Sunday, July 01, 2007

here it is


chris is in the front eric in the back then whitney and me!

A Night of Delicious Pranking!

so last night was BASICALLY the best time i have had all summer.

It started out by whit and i just chilling at her house playing with her kitten and watching Pleasantville, around 12 Chris called me (which was a little odd--maybe not odd, mostly i just didn't expect it) and said that he and his friend Eric were looking to cause a bit of trouble so we met up with them at the old high school and discussed some great pranking plans, at first we were just going to take some traffic cones and surround someone's car and then we were going to decorate this statue by a bank as we were discussing our options whit and i happened to tell them of the many items that we have left on Ziv's lawn and they decided that this was a good idea so chris went to go look for stuff in his house and whit and i went and got something to eat. When we returned chris looked very excited and he asked if Wal-mart was still open, this was confusing to me we drove to wal mart and proceeded to acquire a fish. Eric lives a convenient five houses away from ziv so as we re convened at his house the produced a table, lamp, fake flowers, a welcome home sign, and the crowning glory, a fish bowl. we thus proceeded to leave all these things on Ziv's lawn including the fish named Wingardium Leviosa. and it made me so stinking happy! isn't that awful?

ahhhh

we got a picture so i suppose that i will post that when i get it from chris but anyway it was an amazing night and so much fun, i hope that we can hang out with those boys more.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sometimes i forget that people i know read this blog and then they come up to me and say so why was dinner awkward the other night? and fifty pounds by december huh? and i am like what?!?! and then i am like oh yeah the internet isn't just on my computer!

anyhow.


this week has been good i have done lots of lazing about

it has been pleasant

today i finished reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and it was basically amazing. probably one of the best books i have read this summer i would definitely recommend it to anyone who is in need of a good read. today is my dads birthday he turned 51 that is a little weird to me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPSICLE!


we are going to dinner tonight as a family and that should be grand except andrew wont be there which will be a wee bit strange anyhow i am out

Monday, June 25, 2007

Alaska Photos Contd.




Friday, June 22, 2007

Melancholy

Andrew left for college today.

I am officially the only kid at home.

It has been ok. dinner was weird. Mom is finally home from class so that is nice, i called the temp service today and they don't have anything available--mreh. I am speaking in church on sunday i am a wee bit nervous.

tonight i am going to Lehi to visit megan so that will be good.

I am feeling sad, i didn't want andrew to leave i am going to miss him so much. He will have so much fun though, i am a little jealous.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Alaska Photos





Alaska Photos





Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Alaska photos




Tuesday, June 19, 2007

alright

So i decided that i am going to lose some weight.


last night i signed up with this website and one of the things that i needed to do was tell someone about my goals so i am telling my blog does that count? i assume it does because that means i am really telling 5 or 6 people not just one.

i want to lose 50 pounds by the end of december.

it is a lot and a long time, but i think i can do it.


enough of that.


The cruise was amazing i will post some pictures soon. hope everyone is well.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Seattle Blogging

here i am in seattle today was gorgeous--70 degrees and partly cloudy, seattle is amazing! the people are wonderful and it is just a lovely city! ok i am gone for good....


i am writing in a notebook so when i get back i will just type it up and add pictures woohoo!!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Fleetwood Macmurder

i always feel a sense of betrayal when people move or delete their blogs, it makes me sad.


so we leave for seattle tomorrow at 5:15 AM wow! me thinks that is to early to function properly, although i did get up that early this morning to take liz and joe to the airport for the same purpose. mmm seattle, mmmm alaska.

i am all packed, my room is clean my laundry is done and put away, and now i am just waiting.



Today mom and I planted the garden and then she "showed me how" to patch my pants but really just did it for me. I am scared to be a mom, i am bad at patching things i don't know when to plant things in little hills and when to just leave them. how frightening i am not going to think about it anymore.


last night was full of hilarity and fictional words, i was very hyper to say the least.

i have so many books to read! I am excited.

ok i am out

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Flipe inspired blog

So my last day of work is tomorrow, i am actually sort of sad to see it end so here are a list of the things that i will and will not miss about Investools:

Things I won't miss:
1. having to wait to transfer a call to customer service and then customer service being jerky about it
2. crazy old men
3. That guy calling me sweetie
4. awkward banter with sales people when i pick up orders
5. scary office managers that try to talk to me but make me wnat to hide under large pieces of furniture

Things I will miss:
1. Allissa
2. Sara
2. the guy who calls me sweetie's butt (i am sorry to those members of my family who read this and are awkwarded out but hey it is pretty cute)
3. free lunch twice a week
4. 10$ a hour
5. taking the elevator 5 times a day


so there ya go.

this week is going to rock i am pretty sure. Tomorrow is my last day at work tuesday i am planting the garden/going to andrew's graduation/ watching the two towers with jamie+family wednesday i will probably go help mom at the library and maybe start packing Thursday i will most definitely be packing and friday we will finally be in seattle!!!!!! I am so excited to go on this cruise and see cass and tyleen and eat sushi and read and look at the beautiful alaskan-ness of it all ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

this weekend was pretty fun except last night but mreh... on friday whit had her birthday party and that was pretty awesome it was a lot of fun and we got jamie to come out for it and that was nice. I ended up going home at like 11:30 and talking to matt for a good while then jamie called me and told me he didn't want to go to sleep/be alone so he came and picked me up and we basically drove around/parked and talked till 2:30 it was good, we played the secrets game which was probably not the greatest plan that late at night but mreh. on saturday i went into work and helped allissa out with payroll things and that was fun, i left at noon and mom and i went shopping and i bought the most clothes i ever have in one day it rocked basically. i got a lot of cute new clothes that i am very pleased with. then i went to the gym for the first time in like three months and that went pretty well. I want to get in ridiculously good shape by the time i go back up to rexburg and i think this will be easy because it was pretty darn empty when i went on saturday and the facility is pretty well equipped. After that we all went to dinner as a family and celebrated andrew's garduation/liz's birthday it was so much fun to be with everyone and i got to eat steak.

saturday night i just hung out at home and did some research on graduate school, it turns out that the university i was thinking of going to costs 43,000 dollars for a masters degree in library science. I do not have 43,000$ nor will i in the near future, thus my dream has been smooshed for the time being


anyhow i made like 6 dozen cookies today it was awesome. now i need to write some thank you notes

and here is a picture of me because frankly i am awesome

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Awkward

so basically i am here to tell you that i hate being in elevators with people. it is so awkward, you just stand there staring at the door with some random stranger...i have decided something needs to be done. I thought maybe i could try and talk to people but then they would think i was hitting on them or something so i decided that from now on when i enter an elevator i am going to pretend to talk on my cell phone to some one about some obscure topic so people who ride with me will be like what the crap, who is this girl. basically it is going to be awesome.

also i hate talking to the sales people, they try and joke around with me and stuff and generally i am all for that, i consider myself a fairly amiable person, but it just flusters me and makes me blush it is ridiculous and i don't know what to do to make it better and less nerve racking for myself. kind of silly. i just need to get over my shyness i guess.

alright i am done

Saturday, May 19, 2007

by far the longest blogging hiatus

i don't know what has gotten into me...but i just don't feel like writing as of late.

work is going well, i have a little more responsibility so that has been nice, this month has gone by quick for me, before i know it i will be on my way to alaska!

last night was....interesting, for some reason i thought it would be a great plan to mesh my groups of friends so last night hans and whitney, jamie and jared, and celeste and megan all came over. It was just weird for one thing it is odd to have people i met in idaho not in idaho but at my house WEIRD! anyhow also i just felt pretty awkward about the whole thing, everyone else was fine, everyone got a long well but i just didn't know where to fit, i didn't know who to go and talk to it was just strange. Anyhow, we watched arrested development played uno and then went to the park to throw the frisbee around once that got interrupted by the coppers we went and just hung out on my driveway. everyone slowly went home and celeste and i ended up going to get slurpees at about 12:30. once i got in i tried calling jamie because i knew he would still be awake and i was a little wired. He didn't answer so i got online and started watching some prison break (woohoo!) and matt called and told me how they went shooting in the dark last night and almost got arrested (ridiculous). Jamie finally called me back and came and got me and he and jared and i just sat at his house playing truth or dare but mainly just talking about religion which was interesting.

weird thing about jamie, i am not attracted to him.

i mean he is a cute enough guy but i just don;t feel that way towards him and it is weird, i don't think i have ever made this much effort to get to know a guy who i wasn't romantically interested in. Maybe he exception is david but even then it started out with me having a crush on him.

today has been good i have just been reading i finally finished east of eden and started two more books Bermudez triangle by maureen johnson and in the lake of the woods by tim o'brien i finished the first this morning and only have a little bit left of the second. The next books on my list are the lord of the rings i know that is heinous that i have never read them but mreh. I am hoping to finish the first one before i go on the cruise and whilst on the cruise i will read the fountainhead.

i just realized how nerdified i am mreh
i am off to barnes and noble with jamie

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

i was going to write about my weekend but i am going to go read East of Eden instead

Saturday, May 05, 2007

ah the weekend

work is going well, i am enjoying it for the most part.

this weekend has been good thus far, yesterday after i got home from work andrew and i just chilled while mom and james and karen went to joe's graduation andrew went off to his study group and i was left alone, it was very pleasant i read my book and took a fatty nap. at around nine we all convened for dinner at chili's it was so much fun! there were 15 of us all together so it was a little crazy but still awesome. before we went into the restaurant i kind of had an anxiety attack think going on so andrew and i just chilled in the car and listened to some calming music and he chanted calm blue ocean at me, surprisingly it helped, he is a good kid. we didn't get done with dinner till like 11 and then dad and mom and susie and i watched arrested development which was awesome.

i also talked to matt last night and tyleen as well. she and cass are finally in alaska and it sounds like they are doing well. matt is doing good to he sounds like he is busy, he is working two jobs and going to school full time that crazy kid!!

alright well i am going to get to lazing about happy weekend everyone

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

employment

so i applied at a temp agency and they placed me at this ridiculous place that sells investment workshops and all i do is answer the phone and say "this is catherine with --- how can i direct your call?" it is very simple and extremely well paid at ten dollars a hour, luckily i will only be there for a month. Today was my first day and it was good enough everyone seems really nice, the majority of the sales people are men, you know the sort with the gelled hair and the almost permanent wink on their faces. Like i said they are all nice if not more than a little patronizing.

sadly enough i still don't have a lot to say, i read parts of The Messenger by Markus Zusak who also wrote The Book Thief which is one of the best books i have ever read. I also wrote david a letter and spent my lunch hour in the library just like in high school... sigh

now i am off to Home Depot with jamie whitney and elise it shall be grand